DODGES OF THE DOCTOR.

King Country Chronicle, Volume VII, Issue 590, 2 August 1913, Page 3

DODGES OF THE DOCTOR.

WHEN MEDICOS PULL THEIR PATIENTS' LEGS. Like every profession, medicine barf a slang of its own. If a couple of doctors are examining; you, or you are beinsr discussed before your face in hospital, the doctors use quite different terms irom those which they would use if you were not there. Very often this technical slang is used in order to spare the patient's fee-lings : often, too, to avoid frightening him. A man comes into the out-pa". ients department of a hospital complaining of serious symptoms. Th? phrase "C2HKO" is passed roun;!*, and the case dealt with accordingly. The patient probably regards the phrase as a curious and" impressive one for some interesting disease. As a matter of fact, he is merely being polite iy diagnosed as a confirmed drunkard. C2H6O is a chemical formula for strong drink.

A big visiting specialist is passing round the wards. explaining the case to a squad of students. The effect on a patient if he ended an explanation with the words "The patient is round to die'" might be immediately serious. The cruelty of such a remark is avoided by changing it to "The prognosis is bad," a phrase which is pretty sure to be meaningless to the -patient. RUBBING IT IN. Every doctor finds various harmless little dodges necessary in his practice. In many cases a leg or an arm should be rubbed with the hand for ten minutes or so a day. But many patirnts-chiciiy those who are ignorant, and who refuse to believe in any treatment unaccompanied by the mcuicin? bottles, lini- , mentr, etc. —simply c.innot he got to take the trouble. So the doctor srives them a liniment, and telis them to rub it in. The liniment is useless. It is only the rubbing the doctor wants done. As a medicine, coloured water is often given, or bread pills.

This sort of treatment is called "giving a placebo." If the doctor looks at you gravely, and says : "I think you need a placebo," he is using a Latin word which means "something to keep you happy.

When a man, "hitherto quite normal, suddenly begins to all sorts of rosy visions of the future, his exaggerated optimism is usually a symptom of dread disease general paralysis of the insane. It invariably terminates in incurable insanity. But it would be needlessly cruel of the doctors to tell him so. It is occasionally toned down into "general paralysis." But more usually it is referred to, in his presence, by the almost flippant name of "G. P. I." That his condition is bound f o end in insanity he is never told. THE MEANING OF "COMPENSITIS." "Compensitis" is a recent piece of doctor's slang, it is a jocular name for any disease or hurt that, only needs compensation to cure 'it. Vvt, curiously enough, it is sometimes used seriously for the state known as traumatic neurasthenia, a condition caused by severe physical shock. The patient complains of aches and, pains which, though they do not exist, he really suffers from, owing to the mental effect of the physical shock. And these cases compensation often cures, owing to the soothing and' healing effect "on the mind. Another piece of medical slang is frequently found in casualty books, those books in . which out-patients' ailments arc entered. If the examining doctor finds nothing wrong with a new-comer, lie often enters him in the casualty book as a case of "D. N. O." —these three myster'ous letters standing for "Lhinno." -"Answers."