RANDOM REMARKS.

King Country Chronicle, Volume VI, Issue 467, 22 May 1912, Page 7

RANDOM REMARKS.

By Onlooker. The amount oE business being transacted through the local telephone bureau has been largely on the increase for soma considerable time, with the result that many people have had lengthy waits in getting connected with the office they required. A Chronicle representative had occasion to use the bureau recently, and on entering the room the first thing that occurred to him was the sanitation of of that particular locality. On ringing up and taking hold of the instrument which receives and the forwarding the aroma which spread its sweetness through the air was striking. In fact it struck so emphatically that it almost knocked one down. * * * However apart from that point of view a look around the box—for nothing else it is—revealed the fact that on the door of the room was written in big chalk letters "Telephone Burrow." This fact aroused the reporter's curiosity, and an examination of the walls surrounding the sacred precincts of the 'phone discloses some of those who wanted to use the machine in haste, and had been forced to curb impatience as best they might, had recorded their views for the benefit of their brothers in misfortune. * * * Some of the legends recorded in the writing on the wall are as follow: — "Suggestion: That the department pruvide a chair, or a sleeping bench"; "I wouldn't mind but the girl is waiting outside"; "'Phone patience! If time means money and a fortune,there has been more lost here tnan in Monte Carlo!"; "1 vote against the Government for not providing a chair in the telephone room"; "absolutely the biggest monopoly and humbug in the world!" "The waiter waited and waited, and waited more, "And after waiting slammed the door. "This is a sentry box; 'Wait, wait, wait, wait! How much longer." * * * A frank and ingenious enquiry j always excites our sympathy and leads us to extra efforts to make suitable and fitting reply. We are inclined to stretch a point in order to convey the answer which will give most satisfaction to the recipient, and make him happy. The following telegram from a Government official at Wellington to a local stable proprietor indicates a truly ingenuous nature combined with a touch of that caution which is commonly ascribed to inhabitants of the country north of the Tweed: —"Please reply if road to Pio Pio will be fit to drive over by buggy during coming week." We have only the genial Mac's statement that the reply suggested that if the official could guarantee the weather, Mac would guarantee the road. However, it was a case of Greek meeting Greek, and you can't beat a Scot for grim humour.

Light has a wonderful attraction for certain winged things which haunt the night. That the influence is baneful seems to make it the more pronounced, and despite the number whose wings yet singed there are myriads more to flutter around the flame and eventually pay the penalty. It is but a short time since the question of light agitated the public mind at Te Kuiti, and led to a spirited exchange of amenities across the council table on more than one occasion. A similar experience is being undergone in Taumarunui at present and judging from the last discussion on tne question there is ample room for controversy in future. Te Kuiti adopted electric light as a wingburning preventative, but there are pessimists who claim that it is a case of. out of the frying pan into the fire. It will be interesting to note the Taumarunui developments.

Labour troubles are rampant in the world, and the present seems to be a highly inappropriate time for the 'abour advocates to claim that .the objective of the labour movement is to make war impossible. The weapon to be used it seems is the general strike. Hitherto we have been led to believe that the strike is one of the worst brands of warfare. Paralysing as it does the industry of a country it leaves that particular nation open to inroads of everv description by rival countries. However, the labour people seem to be satisfied. Doubtless, the objective is located by them in the dim and distant future. It never seems to occur to them that in futurity lies the solution of many problems which are troubling the. present, and the methods of the present as applied to the future are apt to work out in any direction but the right one. Conquest by coercion, and conquest by reason and evolution are two very different methods. In fixing the millenium as an objective one should be careful to advocate methods which harmonise such an idealistic state.

The Rev. R. Mitchell preached his farewell sermon on Sunday last to a sympathetic congregation. Regret at a los 3 that will be hard to sustain was tempered with gratification that the worth of a good man had been recognised. One of the griefs of life is that the better the man and the more widespread his influence the more likely is he to be called from us to a wider sphere. One of the compensations attaching to this is the knowledge that one we know and esteem is granted the opportunity of working in a wider sphere and exercising his influence for the general good of humanity. That this is so in respect to Mr Mitchell we all recognise; therefore are our regrets subdued and our parting expressions rendered cheerful. The "God speed you" is genuine.