RANDOM REMARKS.

King Country Chronicle, Volume III, Issue 131, 15 February 1909, Page 5

RANDOM REMARKS.

(Contributions to this column are always welcome from any pari of the district. The Editor docs not vouch for the authenticity of the stories, nor Is he responsible for the criticisms.!

In the fanning industry, as is well known, fertilisers play a prominent part. In the building industry, as is also well known, cement, in certain ' cases, is quite an important* factor. King Country lands, as has been widely published, do not require fertilising, still certain people have been known to use fertilisers on farms within the favoured sow. At a wayside station last season a shipment of cement, in bags, was delivered to the order of a well-known builder, who had a contract for erecting a bouse in the neighbourhood. A farmer in the same locality had ordered a quantity of manure to fertilise a projected turnip crop. Seeing the bags the unsuspecting tiller o» the soil concluded they contained the manure which was to contribute towards a turnip yield calculated to inspire the neighbours with admiring envy. The cement, it is said, wa« duly carted to the field and applied to the soil. The builder, who is something of a tartar, when roused. conducted a heated correspondence with the railway authorities, and finally placed the matter in the hands of the law. There was no news of the missing cement, and the case would probably have remained in the realms of enshrouded mystery but for the fact that the turnips thodgh apparently a splen- j did crop, failed to act up to their early ; premise. A line of young sheep was turned on to the crop to prepare for j market, and the owner had visions of j »fe«k stock, and correspondingly fat cheques. Alas for human hopes and j worldly ambition ! When the tops ! were gone from the turnips there re- j maincd nothing but a crop of roocs j closely resembling grindstones. Need- j less to remark, the sheep became pre- j maturely broken-mouthed, and their fattening process was hardly a success, j Of course this docs not prove that the j cement was really used as stated, but j the circumstantial evidence is extremely strong, and the price of grindstones J in the district has fallen to zero. I

Strange thine* happen in bush districts, and therr. "out of the mouths of babes and sucklings comes wisdom." There, also, out of the mouths of pedagogues come strange ami wierd utterances. which serve to indicate that even teachers have something left to learn. At a certain school in a i»wsii district recently, the master suddenly noticed that the sky had become overcast, and glancing from the window in the dirvc-

tion of the rainy quarter, he saw signs of an impending storm. The teacher in question is a man who exercises a vigilant care for the health of his scholars. Faced with danger, his mind worked rapidly. "All children who have not brought overcoats with them hold up their hands." came the order. For days past the sky had been cloudless. and overcoats in midsummer are unthought of by children. A forest of hands held aloft dtsclostd the fact that not an overcoat was to be found in the school. The school was hurriedly dismissed, the master exhorting the children to run all the way home. The teacher, who is also the local weather prophet, presently realised that the on-coming cloud bank consisted of smoke from the first of the bush fires, and he has since been kept busy explaining the various aspects of atmospheric phenomena.