MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume V, Issue 19, 11 January 1878, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

Thrt following amusing pnrngrnph wo la,ko IVaiii mi exL'liimuo pit per s — "Misbikes will occur in all well-reguliited taniiliefl^ and ovon in our public institutions. They have, in theQorcrnmenfc Uuildings n guilolesis new elu^m, who, is not ufdl acquuiutcd with tho pprsoniil npprnrn'iieos of Ins bosses, in tlio f>ors.oijis of Ministers of tho Crown, A dny or two iipo oneol the chief dorks, whp indulges in tlje narootio weed, run short of a 'load,' ni^j «s ho ppoforrud '•cntMip* to any other, hrund, ho. told the fled>jli.\g to go into a crrtain rogu),and nsk the mesaenucr for n $\\ of tobieeo. The new claim was shoiyn to tho mossct^ger's room, nud boldly tii.tcrin<; ho addjjo.ssod hi tn self to a centlomnti' with a gray mous> taclxMind hair to mntoh, nnd srntoil tint Afr Quills, of tho P.W O4Ti -c, minted a pipe of tobacco. Tho old gentleman looked luird at his visitor, and demanded if ho Itnow who ho was. ' Oh. yes/ snid the new ohu,m, ' trot out tho tobacco ;. I'm in » hurry.' ' Young mn.t,' 1 replied tho aged pnrty. '-I nm nfraid thut posterity has not n sinning liuht m you-- History will not include your namo nmong its creat men. lMurn to tho chief clerk nnd tell him Si. Geortre Grey does not smoke, neither does he supply cut,-ni> tobiicco to his clerks' The youth left tho room hurriedly, nnd I now he says that he shall novcr forge b the lac " of the Premier/ Tho Nelson I),tilv TinuM of tho 18th ult. is nnsixornhlo. for »h« follo'vin-r : — Wo, tako. tho cnntnsrd: mnrcciiu fr>m the Kangitikci Adrocato.:— " Wemusf apologise to our noadors/or tho ftU.w'O irtt oik present i'sauo of' the nsupl-od^prinl md local news, tho, editor having failod to 'put* in, an appearance. Wo shall endeavor, however to put this depart' monj; of our staff on a moro satisfactory footing, and 1 wo trust, any little shortcom* ings will bo overlooked until this is accomplished. An ap-country Australian, papor put cnothcr oaso n little plainer, saying — " Wo haven't any loading articlo tO'dny becnuso our editor is. on tho burst." TlipNow Zpnlnndi Tablet is of opinion, that Gatholios " ought not to intorfcro in anyway in, tho administration of tho new Education Act. Tho business of Oatho* lips is to leave tho undivided responsibility of injuring Qhrisjian education, and demoralising tiio goncration. with tho. people, who, contrary to jusiie^, reason, and docency havo forced tho now Ao^on tho^peoplo of this colony.". In connection with ft visit to & waxwork exhibition, " Sandfly.'Vin tho ''Lyti telton Times revives tho following story : — " At an oarly hour o(,- Uio morning thoro arnvpd at tho barracks of a town. in Victoria a policeman, paho ag a shoot, with sorting eyeballs, and hair bristling bo as.to.alcaost olovato his hat. Straight.away, ho proceod9d to tako violent oxerciso of tho kind, which emigrants on'joy coming down tho Channol, !Botweon tho spasms ho rnannge<f to articulate that ho had seen n most.uorriblo sight. A dosq of Henncssy's best rcstoratjvo , (Udolpho Wolfo was still in ]\\>\ native Schiodum) was administorod. but still, the poor man continued his frantio ofForts to turn his too-bonos out through his mou li, and his oolloaguos began, not unnaturally, to think that something must^hato disturbed (

I him. Indeed, it was tnlenhlv evident, that noipee.icunnnrv in its mist concontrnt*d form could have produce!' »<» powerful ft result. Nature, however. I even his in ease did her w irk in her own ti«v : peril to his phalanges pa-ned ami sit lait l*i> was able to speak cohorfntly. Bricflv, his tnlewnn that J>e )\\\ seen "si human head lyintt on ilio pnvdment. the nock portion of which had cvdieVitly Wen gnawed nnd mangloij by dogs. Scarcely had ho goi through bjs nnrraturc tvhen another ppliooman arrived. Ifo nlso n«d seen tlpit awful spectacle, but ho gay« v somewhat different description of it. Ho said that overnight there hud boon a row , in Ghiloni's waxwork exhibition, that. some of the figures Imd boon smashed tip , pnd lhak tho head of ono qf them was , now lying on the payemenf. The np, . pcaranco of tho first discoverer of Mini, trunkless head, when ho hoard his comrade's tale, is described as something grand ; his feelings no man has ever at- • temptod to describe. But ho is said to , have looked tho opinion that he had been ! tho victim of nn atrocious fraud, that his , tendorest emotions had been tampered L with, nhd the safety of his interim! ays* ; (em imperilled upon the falsest of falso , pretences'" The funny writer to the Poverty Hay , Standard says ;— -ftvory provincial di*. , tricf in the Colony h»« its specialities. , Olngo i§ eminent for Old Identities and L bnrraeoijtn. \t, is said tho barracouU ( contains tho souls of Qld Identities. Tl, i is nlso celebrated (or, possessing? kin<\ of ( land lish which, js of tfift *hnrk sneems. ( Tlioy urq called land shark*: Hunterbury is rich in church steeples, catlWrals, peals of bells, am} Kpi'scopaliaw parsons who cannot livo under five hnndr^l a your, with a freo mansion. Wellington is oinineut fur Writers upon IVoridenm through the doors of tl.' O Government Building*. They will do anything f vr .i Government appointment, exoopt work. Auckland is the oily of groat expectations men live upon, wniting for remi'tnnee« Iroin homo which never rome. but with which they pay their hotel scores and tuilor'.s bills. The Sydney correspondent of tl>o ATe,liouruo Aral's wii'ts •— Wo havo had a few .<e itteroil showers o.' rnin in di(Veront pints of tin! co.ony, hut. not' ing like. v get\onil bruiik up ot iljo drought. Tho piistor.il depression iy uivjinning to tell severely in mercantile circles ; country storekeepers cannot £♦>(; their money in rom .^ottlers w,ho httve nolhirg to sell, and of course (hoy caniKit, meet rheir town bills; and us tho market is glutted with jjooda, merc.han's mul bankers nre look> ing at ore another. Then' is a prospei-t of a rather light timo. Still, it tl(,ere h going to be n famine, wo have <it l«?*»«*f; tho uonsulntion of knowing' licit there is orn in I'lgvpt. '| h ( < deposits in the bank nm.oi\nt now io aixlcon millions, mil however indiviilu«)s wny l>e priiw'iod, th • colony ns a whole cannot «ufTur fron\ want of inone* » Tlie West. Oi>ist rime* snys ;— Th'»m was a long bankruptcy M'ttimr of th . l)j^. •?ct Court ycstertlny, sovond bankrupts obtaining thpir disehnrje, but in -Mieor twu in^tnncos tho orders were sns ft ded. lfi:> HoiQ' dunng Iho sittiii.' oonmentel .severely on tho system ol Inl sof s ile. nnd expresM'du strong desire to My\k<* cer'nin laorchams dis«or»jo other | ooplo's uoods. which lliev iiinnn^ed to i.ike possos>io» of under the bills of >ak\ His Ilmior also, expressed iiis opinion that a greit ninny persons thought tli y had only to file :\ S'hedule nnd go tliro't^h the Oourr ; but wlllo ho oi'i'iipied the JJench. he intended .i-rin»ko s<>a clung eximinations into these onset. \V,(h rognrd to, the duties oftru<to«s his Honor was very emphatic. Ho held (lint it was their houndon duty to see tlmt nil creditors, got <Q'|il benefit, au 1 even although there whs little re numeration for the office, in tho publio interest; they ought to bo very painstaking and careful.