STOCK SALE HUMOUR.

Hauraki Plains Gazette, Volume XXXII, Issue 4321, 23 September 1921, Page 2

STOCK SALE HUMOUR.

AUCTIONEER’S SALLIES. “Only five guineas for a twp-year-old gelding! Dear, oh dear, what is the country coming to.” “Take that bellowing calf out of this. I can do all the bellowing required here.” “The vendor’s sister owns this pony, so you must bid up, for if it does not fetch a good price I Will get into a jolly old row.” “There you are, gentlemenhere is a good upstanding colt, and I’ll warrant you’ll get more out of him than you will out of a dairy cow.?’ The farmers standing around smiled the smile of unbelievers.

Mr Dunlop asked a Maori bidder what his initials were, but the Maori did not seem to understand what the word “initials” might mean. A bystander bawled put "What’s your name ?” “Taupiri” (or something like - that), the native replied. “Rightoh! put down Taipo,” s<aid the auctioneer to the clerk. And the.ciuwd smole a loud smile.

“Now then, here’s as fine a draught horse as ever was shod. It’s fit *o pull anything. I’ll warrant it would pull the mortgage off your farm.”

Some of the farmers looked extremely doubtful, notwithstanding the fine proportions and evident strength of the animal thus glowingly referred to.

Part of the art of the auctioneer lies in the getting of a sale crowd into a good humour, which can best be done by “feeding the brute”—not forgetting “liquid refreshments,” and by a few judicious witty sallies now and again. Each auctioneer has his own peculiar type of wit, and Mr B Dunlop, of the Farmers’ Co-operative Auctioneering Ltd., is not lacking in this respect; During the course of Mr S. Bax’s clearing sale at Wharepoa yesterday he got off the following: