HAPPY MOMENTS

Hokitika Guardian, 1 August 1931, Page 2

HAPPY MOMENTS

— HE AIM) THIS BEFORE? ‘‘Daddy!” asked Betty, “how do herrings get ill?” ‘‘l didn’t know they did, Betty, eon essed daddy. “Oh, yes tliey do,” insisted the little girl. “It says here that thousands of herrings are cured every year! HARD LINES. Little Emily ran into the house crying as though her heart would break. “What’s wrong, dear?” asked her mother. “Mv dolly—Billy broke it,” she sobbed. “How did he break it, dear.-' “I hit him on the head with it!” ASKING A FAVOUR. Magistrate: You have already been sentenced eleven times for vagrancy, violence, assault, embezzlement, theft, and so on. Prisoner: Would you mind not speaking bo loud, your worship? My intended father-in-law is in court, and you might damage my prospects. CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME. A curate was collecting for the Inebriate Home. , Curate (to savage-looking woman): Tam collecting for the Inebriates’ Home. Could you spare me something? Woman: Ere, you wait till the pubs arc shut, and I'll gio yer my old man. ABOUT POTTING, Mrs Smith: It’s very nice to see you again, Major Wild. Where have you been all this time? Major Wild: Oh, out in Nigeria, potting lions and things. Mrs Smith: One moment, J must call my husband; lie’s in the greenhouse potting geraniums. MORE IN HIS LINE. “Would you like a carte or a cabinet?” asked the photographer of a customer, as he sat his victim in a chair. “It don’t matter much whether there’s a cart or a cabinet,” answered the sitter, “but I wish you’d put summat ter do wi’ the railway in it, ’cause I’m a porter.” POOR FTT)O. The enraged man was uttering shrieks of pain. “Confound it, madam,” he cried, “do you realise your dog has bitten iny leg badly? Yes, badly, madam!” The dog’s mistress picked up her pet. “You naughty Fido,” she said chidingly. “I’ll punish you for that. T shall take this pretty piece of blue ribbon off your collar for a whole week,”