HAPPY MOMENTS
“The man who gives in when ho is wrong,” said die orator, “is a wise man, but the man who gives in when he is right is—— ” “Married,” said a weak voice in the audience.
Chinese Patient (on .telephone): Please, what time you fixee teeth fo’
me ? Dentist: Two-thirty—all right? Chinese: Y f es, r.ooth ' hurty me all right, but whn’ time you fixee?
“What are. you doing now?” “I have found a new circus act— the friendship of a lion and a goat:” “But don’t they quarrel sometimes?” “Oh, yes, they have their- little quarrels, but then, we buy a new goat.”
Processor: How many people are there in this country? Student: Er-r-r-r Professor: Hurry, hurry. Every second you dilly dally the. number grows larger.
Oldest Inhabitant (to district visitor): I be ninety-four and I ,’aven’t got an enemy in the world.
District Visitor: That is a beautiful thought. Oldest Inhabitant: Yes, miss. Thank God they be all of ’em dead long ago!
The old lady entered the butcher's shop with the light of battle in her ■eyes, “lj believe you sell diseased meat here?” she stormed. “Worse,”
replied the butcher blankly. “What do you mean by worse?” demanded the astonished patron. “The meat we serve is dead,” confided the butcher in a stage whisper.'
On arriving at his office Gates discovered that he had left his pocketbook ‘ at home.
“Jane,” he said over the phone to the maid, “I left my pocket-book in the inside pocket of my dress suit las. night, and now I can’t find it. Have you seen it anywhere?” “No, sir,” replied the maid, “the missus put your clothes away.” “And where is Mi’s Gates now - ?’” asked the worried husband.
“She went out shopping immediately after breakfast, sir,” Jane informed him.
Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi
https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/HOG19310711.2.17
Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka
Hokitika Guardian, 11 July 1931, Page 3
Word count
Tapeke kupu
299HAPPY MOMENTS Hokitika Guardian, 11 July 1931, Page 3
Using this item
Te whakamahi i tēnei tūemi
The Greymouth Evening Star Co Ltd is the copyright owner for the Hokitika Guardian. You can reproduce in-copyright material from this newspaper for non-commercial use under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International licence (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0). This newspaper is not available for commercial use without the consent of the Greymouth Evening Star Co Ltd. For advice on reproduction of out-of-copyright material from this newspaper, please refer to the Copyright guide.
Log in