PASSING MOMENTS

Hokitika Guardian, 3 January 1931, Page 8

PASSING MOMENTS

! Dear Old Soul (who lias pulled communication cord in the non-stop express): May 1 have a cup of tea, please ; not too strong r* I Young Lady (who has just sung foi j charity): 1 never thought my voice would fill that big ball. | Unfeeling Father: Neither did L j thought it would empty it. I “Mummie, teacher said that it is the I law of gravity that keeps us on earth.” “Yes, that’s quite right, my dear.” “Well, then, how did we keep on before the law was passed?” Mistress: The main thing here is honesty. The last maid stole the silver spoons. New Maid:. You needn’t fear anything from me, ma'am —I m hound over for, a year. Boastful American Visitor (as Flying Scotsman dashes through small station) : Gee, she”s moving—but is that | your fastest train ? Fed-up Porter: No—she’s only shunting. She’ll be back in a minute. i “Oh, George, it’s nearly three ! months singe our honeymoon. Just think of the glorious hours we used to spend together on the sands! Hubby: “I’m thinking of the days we’re going to spend together on the rocks!” First" Punster: “When are stockings » like dead men.” Second Punster: “When they are in holes.” “No.” “When they are past healing (heeling.” “No”. “When the soles (souls) have departed.” “No.” “What then?” “When they are men-ded, of course.” Superintendent: What we want is a night watchman that’ll watch, alert and ready, for the slightest noise or indication of burglars. Somebody who can sleep with one eye and both ears open, and is not afraid to tackle anything. See? Applicant: I see, sir. I’ll send my wife round.