AGED TURK ANGRY

Hokitika Guardian, 4 December 1930, Page 8

AGED TURK ANGRY

TALK OF “MONKEY GLAND”.

SAN FRANCISCO, October 23

Zaro Agha, the 156-year-old Turk, grew red to the tips ol his ears in New York when he was informed that Dr. Serge Voronoff, the world-famous gland expert, had offered .to perform a monkey gland operation' on him, free ol charge. Such an offer to Zaro’s mind was a prime insult. But in Turkey, it seemed, those were fighting words.

Seated on a bench in Central Park,

where he has been whiling away most of his afternoons, Zaro stamped one foot, then the other, clapped his hands against his legs and let out a bellow. “Who is this Voronoff?” he demanded, and his interviewer explained uneasily that Dr. Voronoff was quite famous for his monkey gland experiments. Zaro started to speak again, but the words died behind his new set of artificial teeth. His eye-caught the figure of a very attractive young nurse wheeling a baby carriage down the pathway. The young lady smiled affably at Zaro as she passed. He popped out of his seat, doffed his fiat and bowed, resuming bis seat when she had gone. “How old is this Vonoroff?” he asked, and was told that the doctor is about 60. “All I can sav,” snapped the petulant old Napoleonic campaigner, “Is that he better get somebody else to operate on himself. That’s all I have to say.”

Zaro’s manager, Calvin Harris, gave the old gentleman a peppermint drop to soothe his nerves, but the primordial Turk was not to bo soothed. It was as if someone had taken a glove and slapped him across the mouth, or had walked up and told him lie had halitosis. He jumped up suddenly and walked over to Assim Radvin, his Turkish companion. Crapping Assim about the waist, Zaro picked him up and carried him about fifteen steps without saying a word. Then he put him down and returned to his bench.

Still unable to quell the spii'it ot showmanship that had suddenly taken possession of him, he pulled out his uppers and held them up for anyone to see. This last action drew a sharp rebuke from Assim, who knows that it is not gentlemanly to go about displaying one’s plates.

1 The company sat in the sunlight in silence for a hit and then Zaro, tapping his foot nervously, turned to Assim, addressing him in Turkish, aiid Assim nodded his head. The correspondent, suspicious of the funny look in Zaro s eyes, turned to Assim, asking: What did he say then?” “He said,’'’ answered Assim, “That lie would like to walk over to the park zoo again and take another look at those monkeys.”