IN LIGHTER VEIN

Hokitika Guardian, 18 October 1930, Page 2

IN LIGHTER VEIN

“It’s su nood of you, doctor, to liiivc conic this far to see my Husband.” “Not at all, madam, not at all. I have a patient- nextdoor, and 1 thought I'd kill two birds with one stone.” “What’s come over the girls nowadays: they don’t seem to want to marry.” “Perhaps they think where singleness is bliss 'tis folly to be wives.” Temperance Lecturer: Vly husba-nu was addicted to- the bottle, but 1 poisuaded him to sign the pledge. Nihon lie did so, my jov was sO great that 1 flung my arms around his neck and kissed him.” A wo ice, “Serve him jolly will right!” “Did you really call this gentleman an old fool last night?” asked the judge. Tlie prisoner tried hard to collect his thoughts. “Well, the more I look at him, the more likely it- seems that I did,” he replied. A small boy was scrubbing the front porch of his house the other day when a ladv called.

“Is your mother in?” she inquired. “Do you think I’d be scrubbing the porch if she wasn’t?” was the rather curt reply,

“Say, Sambo, what's all dis heah diplomacy stuff?” SamboD'flt ip powhful lmwd to explain, but it’s like dis : Befoh de woh I was a bell bop in a hotel, an’ one night T bus inter a room without knock in.’ My L awd. dere was a lady sitting’ in a tub wasbin’ herself. Niggali, I was sure -paralacized, but I backs out de room, closed de dob, an’ sez, ’N-cuse me suh-li-h.’ Cat’s diplomacy.”

A .country housewife of good intentions, but with little culinary knowledge, decided to- try her hand at cakemaking. The result was somewhat on the heavy side, and after offering it to the various members of her household, she threw it to the ducks in disgust. A short time afterwards two urchins tapped at her door. “I say, missus,” they shouted, “your ducks have sunk!”