IN PASSING

Hokitika Guardian, 15 March 1930, Page 6

IN PASSING

TOO VAGUE,

Guest (angry at uung .mpt waiting at station); “So you couldn t and mo eh? Didn't your master describe me?” Chauffeur: “Yes, sir but there are so many baldheadui oid h.-ners wu.i red noses.”

IN THE WINTER TIME

Alfred: “.My wife only pays me a cympliAient in the winter Lime. Friend: “T hat’s queer; how; is that? Alt’: “Well, you see, if the fire h getting low she will say, 'Alfred the grate!”

MORE THRILLIN''

“I’m writing a sequel to my home. ‘How to live on Five Hundred a Year,’ said a young author. “What do you call the sequel?” asked his friend.

“How to Get the Five Hundred.’!”

AGREED

He was a very dilapidated specimen oif tramphood, who begged alms at the back door, and the sympathetic housewife, offering him a few coppers, remarked : “Ah, my poor man, it must be awful to waul work and be unable to find it.” “Yes, ilium,” lid: replied, “it must be!”

NO SKVt El SCR A PER

Lndv (enters barber's shop with Skye terrier:) “Mr Barber can you cut my doggie’s hair?” “No. I can’t, or rather, I won’t.”

“Indeed : you seem- to hold yourself pretty high, lor one in. your position. “Perhaps 1 do, Mut I’m no Skvescraper.”

DOUBTFUL. A lady parishioner was chatting with her vicar at the tea table. “Do von think, vicar.” she ns'-ed “that man who plays the saxophone on Sunday could expect to go to heaven ?” “Well,” replied the vicar, “I don’t see why he shouldn’t, but I’m a hit doubtful of his next door neighbour.

AMBIGUOUS. Very stout lady: Have you washing frocks in my size?

Shop assistant: Certainly, madam. We have a very large range of tub frocks. I’ll show you some.

Lady (frigidly): You need not trouble. I never met such impertinence in my life.

PRTDE HAS A FALL

, A shopkeeper was very proud of the fact that at last he had been able to afford an electric sign outside his shop But it was a blow to bis dignity when one day an old countryman popped his head throught the door and :said: : < Sa.y. mister, there’s smmmt wrong with your lights. They keeps going out.” '■