TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

Hokitika Guardian, 8 July 1927, Page 4

TOLD THE MAGISTRATE

LONDON, May 17

Patrick Maloney, newsagent, dog fancier, and a councillor of Southwark borough, was discovered at a recent dog show at Olympia, W., conducting io the exit an Irish wolfhound valued at 100 guineas that did not belong L” him.

The sequel was hoard before Mr Marshall, the magistrate at West London Police Court, yesterday, when the Southwark councillor was lineal CIO for attempting to steal the Irish wolfhound, whose name is " Warrior ” and who is the property of Mrs Massey, of I la n ow.

Patrick .Maloney, who specialises in Irish terriers and Kerry Blue terriers, contended that he was so drunk when found with the Irish wolfhound, that he did not Icnow exactly where lie got it nor what he was going to do with it.

Certainly there was much evidence to show that, excited by winning a prize with a Kerry Blue dog lie had exhibited on behalf of a policeman, he had not only mixed his drinks hut also his dogs. He patted and solemnly led round Kerry Blue terriers lie had adopted at random from the bench, and when he was stopped at the exit with ■' Warrior ” and asked for hi* removal order he gravely produced a picture postcard. An attendant at the show concluded from ilie councillor’s accent that he came from the Xorth. when he had only come from flip liar. The brother of the constable who owned the winning Kerry Blue declared that -Maloney was so drank that tic (the brother') Look the dog home liini-

Xobody knew how Patrick and “ Warrior ” gol acquainted, and the magistrate decided that, under the iniluenceof drink, the councillor laid conceived the mad idea of taking away the Irish wolfhound.

Pertha clung to the railings of a no!ice sfation and demanded a sum-

mons against, a person or persons unknown who had scratched ’ her face

“(to away,” advised a policeman, ami Bertha went away, only to return some in . iater with more scratches, a deeper sense cl injury, and a more devoted attachment to the railings. “ (to away,” ordered the magistrate, plagiarising tile policeman.

“(an | have a summons r” demanded Bertha from the dock. “Call again in the morning.” said Mr Marshall, glancing distastefully at a heavy week-end list of drunk and disorderly (barges.

“Yes, 1 am guilty ail right.” admitted Henry of the purple overcoat, ‘‘lml what I would like i.o know is how I managed ii before hall-nast six.”

Frederick of the load voice said that, as far a- he was concerned, lie did not think he lias been unusually drunk. “ haying on il.o pavement.” rain: iked a (-oils!aide. " hying.” corrected the wincing magistrate. As tar as I am concerned, I slipped on my cheek,” observed I’rederick’. H'c doctor says you were, drunk ae I you will nav his fee." ordered Mr Marshall. ’■ ' a ! am <on •eriied,” insisted Biedorick. ' I did not ask for a doctor.”

Have you got the money ? —that's a- rar as you are concerned,” murmured the gaoler.

\\ ill i: 1111 . wlm had hacked a Hinner. wa> found sitting on the pavenii'iii. ioyou.slv hut uncertainly counting .018. lie left the court, with L'! i It's, an achievement far which, remarked the magistrate, he ought to he grateful to the police.

Annie, small in stature but strong in voice, freely used metaphors borrowed from, the farmyard in a Saturday night argument with a next-door neighbour.

“Hush.” said a. passing policeman : “you are making more noise than the public-houses closing.”

“She smashed luv windows,” declared Annie, (tilling metaphors from natural history. “Here, that’s enough.” ordered the shocked policeman, who was hearing; words foreign to his vocabulary.

“Wv’iat a (lew of language,” commented Hie magistrate, as he hound Annie over i ; make her voice match her height.

Elizabeth, incused of insulting words, said she had a few words with her sister.

“ AVere they insulting?” inquired the clerk.

“i hope so.” replied Elizabeth fervent I v.

•Tosepli Andrews, who did not in any way resemble the hero of the same name in Fielding’s satirical novel, is one of those purple suit youths who derive a callow enjoyment from imitating the Kntics of a -d'runkeii man with none of his excuses. r l lie purpose of the purple suit brigade is to make themselves a nuisance l\v singing. shouting and staggering across the footway.

“If you must- pretend to he drunk, you must- pay tlie penalty of the

drunken—7s 6d,” remarked Ah' Marshall. Five boys were said to have played at being burglars with such success that a constable found two shops broken into in Fulham Palace-road at half-past five in the morning. ‘ I'll take my oath," said the tallest ”T had only five packets of 20 cigarettesand each of the other four boys down io file smallest and squeakiest also “took his oath” that his spoils were small in quantity. There was something reminiscent of the full-blooded hooks of boyhood days in that oath-taking ritual by the youngsters, who were committed for trial.

Alfred and his wife had a little difference over the Sunday dinner, and as their room was too small lor a real row they adjourned into flic street to the joy of neighbours and the disgust of the policeman on the beat. Airs Alfred, having bad the last >,vcrd. went inside when the officer arrived, but Alfred, trying to think of a crushing retort, refused to ioffow her example and lie had his Sunday dinner, which cost him 7s (id., at the police station.