WILL YOU GIVE ME A KISS.

Hokitika Guardian, 5 February 1920, Page 3

WILL YOU GIVE ME A KISS.

ROMANCE OF AN OMNIBUS. “Will you give me a kiss?’’ I have heard that sentence in many strange places, but never before have I heard it on the top of an omnibus (writes G. Gilby in the “Daily Express”). I don’t pretend that people, never kiss on omnibuses. They certain do kiss but they don’t talk about it. Tlie top of the omnibus was empty except for myself and two people who were sitting on the seat behind me. I scented a beautiful romance, and, I must admit looked round, fully expecting to see “a tall, dark mail with a silky moustache and a winsome girl of 19.” I was wrong. The hero was a portly gentleman of about 65, and the heroine was, what is described in the magazines as an angular spinster of fifty summers.. It was the lady who had spoken. At once the whole story seemed clear to me. Here was a hus,bland and wifle who 'had quarrelled and were about to make it up. I waited for the husband to reply. Instead, he gave an awkward little cough. There was a pause of two min. utes. Then the following dialogue took place: “Will you give me a kiss?” “Madam, I am a married man.”

“Don’t married men kiss?” “Only their wives.” “Do you know why I want you to kiss me?”

“I have no idea.” “Then I will tell you. I am a poor woman but I have a brother who L very rich. I have had a bet with him that' before I get off this omnibus I shall be kissed ,by a man. If I win my bet I shall be able to send a little orphan child in whom I am interested to the* country for a month.” “I am afraid I can’t help you.” “I think it’s very unkind of you.” (She began to cry.) This was too much for the poor old gentleman. He' imparted a kiss on the lady’s cheek, and hurried off the omnibus. No sooner had he gone than the lativ moved forward and sat down next to me.' She opened the conversation. “You heard all that passed between that old gentleman and myself” I admitted that I had. She then hoped I did not consider her a forward woman. I assured her that I was full of admiration for her efforts on behalf of the orphan child. “Thank you,” she said. “He s such a dear little fellow, and a month will do him much good. The doctor sa.\R that he really wants two months. It 1 am kissed twice I shall win twice the amount.’ ’ „ Without a moment’s delay I shut my oyes —sent the child away for two months and gof off the omnibus. A few minutes later I wanted to know the time. . , The problems which now he before me arc these :

1. Does tlie child exist? ' 2. If lie does, has he got my watch. 3. If he has got my watch, has he also got the old gentleman’s watch? 4. If he has them both, which keeps the better time? .