WIT AND HUMOUR.

Hutt News, Volume 2, Issue 26, 21 November 1929, Page 10

WIT AND HUMOUR.

WAS THAT IT? - i Somehow the old bishop had managed to lose his way after, making a tour of a, London slum area. After an hour's wafting he wa!s still ra ther in the dark as to his f*»*«** Sdi. faction »» •*«•;■ As i. W mooring »«J .«• *J save a final glance •* *"» BneMßd £IL asking^ * -ice o* irrepxess.Ue curiosity: >, .... . "Wot's up. sir! Someonepiachedyour bike?" . DEMAND AND SUPPLY Two friends had met and were discussing business on the way , home. _ hear that yo U^tod: ofax^a ; mated with old Marples al your game? -Well, you're half right" agreed. Ms friend. «We are in partnership all^ right but he don't sell the-same kind of thing." This puzzled the other man. "Explain what you mean" he suggested. ",■<■ •- 5 . - . ""Well you see, Marples goes about selling a stove polish that leaves a stam on your" fingers and two days later I call with the only soap that'll .get jit, off." WHAT OSTEBS? -But please don't send in your replies to us! . . Wanted,, a small detached cottage by a lady with outbuildiags. Wanted Persian cat by lady with w bad habits and perfect markings. .Wanted, small'flat by lady with good front view; permanent. - Tor Sale, a pedigree Airedale; ef- . lectionate, eats anything, fohd of children.. : ■■•* ' Yov Sale oil painting by publican's widow said to be after Eembraridt; seen any time. ' For Sale; a good.siute.qf by a widow stuffed with hair and very substantial. ■ * ' y "•-■'.■■ BIG HITS , : _'■'• A man. who liad suffered considerably at the-hands of a band of youthful cricketers who" persisted in sending their v ball over his garden wall succeeded in catching one of them. "Now my lad'Mie saia. "ij've often watched you play. You use the lamppost for/a wicket, but I notice that the batsmen never run. What is^ypur system of scoring?" " ' ; "It's one across the road" said the boy in a trembling voice,: "two to the, next lamp-post and six over your wan.'? "But what happens if you break a window, as you did a minute or two agof )f - ■ ' "Then we all run' said the cricketer. ."' • FOREAKMEI>. Big Man: "So you would like to be my typist." . , Fair Typist: **Yes, sir." Big Man: "What are your qualißcationst" . Fair Typist: "I knosir your ynf e 3o& the sound of Her footsteps." J - THE TEAOEDY. A real tear-bringer the story of the Scotsman who died' of a broken heart.He stood treat so that the "boys would not; think him as close as stwry^teHeis* make his countrymen ottt to be, and' then found otit that all the tim^.theythought he was Irish. , r . CXJIiWASY AST. "What do yon call thl3,m^a^iiet/'^ the seaside Boarder asked his- landlady, as he held to view on a'fork a Imripof iaystery. : * "It is hot-pot," replied, tßfl lady... , ■• "I see," smiled fhe.lodgex, anpA. tltiS). I suppose, is a piece of?th© pot^ JJ ALL DBESSEBK W. i A girl^may wear a gol£ outfit wh©Tj she can't, play golf, and * bathing drc." ] when she can't swiio, b«t wiieii. sice 1 puts on a -wedding gomn. she mestr.:^ 1 businese. •■ A -■' .■• \; . •^■.'"■/■,/ ,- t -'\ '■ \