LOCAL & GENERAL.

Horowhenua Chronicle, 2 December 1916, Page 2

LOCAL & GENERAL.

Reports liaVe come to hand of a disturbance last 'Wednesday evening in Featherston Camp, as a .result of which one soldier is due to be court-' martialled on a serious eh.irge. The Hon. J. G. W. Aitken, M.L.C., is a man of weight in more senses than one. Physically he accounts for about 19 stone. Therefore when he rose in the Presbyterian Assembly on Saturday morning to rejurn thanks for his nomination as moderator for the next year, and suggested that the holders cf the office should be "made visible to the whole church and to the wlito.c of New Zealand," t.here was much merriment. Mr Aitken at once perceived, the joke, and continued: "I think 1 have heard it said that when I walk down the street it is like the e.ud of a houss coming along, but I don't mean that. I mc; u that in my opinion the honor should go to a prominent' clergyman.''—New Zealand Times.

J lie .Bulletin repj jilts the following from an Ansae's letter to his lady :— " Las t week 1 went to Buckingham Palac- for my M.litary Ooms. First I got a telegram ordering me to be in attendance at 10.15 on Tuesday morning, so .1 turned up resplendent with P'o'lNhefJ buttons, brilliant long boots, and a borrowed! sword—the last causing me it, deal of anxiety. As soon n<s I arrived, to my great relief, the sword was taken from me and I was put into a large room with about a dozen others who were also to receive the decorations. AVe were Eiied up, and as 1 was the second senior I was given the second, place. Then a colonel came and told us exactly what we were to do. He was followed by a man who stuck a sort of meathook mto each man's coat just over the left hand, top pocket. After the usual delay a door was opened in the end of the room and we had to go in one at a time. The King wajj standing dressed in lieldmarslial's uniform in the middle of the room. I had been told [ to walk straight ahead into this .room | until I was level with the King, then tm.n to my left, bow, and adivance two paces towards liim. I did it all quite successfully. Then the King •stepped forward and, taking the medal from a cushion on which it was banded to him, pkced ,it on the hook on my cheat. He said "I congratuate you," and shook hands with nie. After that I had to take two paces to the rear, bow again and/ leave the tooiit. As soon as I was outside a flunkey removed the medal and) the hook, put the medal in the case and handed it to me. Then came the part ivlncli I had funked most—leaving the Palace and fighting-through a crowd of people and press photographers. Outside the Palace itself there is a large courtyard, into wh'.icli the people are not allowed.. Luckily, as I came from the Palace entrance, I saw a little side-gate out of this courtyard with no crowd around it. Through this I bolted, and had the luck to find a taxi just outside, and ' hopped in and fled."

Lovers of high-class humour—the delightful stories of O. Henry, whose works have a distinctly American setting, the latest world-wide success, "The SentimentaJ Bloke," by C. J. Dennis, the story of an Australian larrikin regenerated by love, and tlie im. fortal characters of the great English novelist, a Miles (Dirk-ens—wMl .be pleased to learn that 31,r Clement May, the entertainer and humorist, and char! ncter artist, will shortly commence a tour of the country towns, appearing at the lOenturv Hall, Levin, on Wednesday, .December 20th, and present extracts from the above-mentioned masterpieces. On Wednesday night last a lady's cycle was taken from the wash-house of a Weraroa resident. The person having possession of the cycle is requested to return at once. The local corps of the Salvation Army are celebrating their Sunday school anniversary to-morrow. Brigadier and Mrs -Hoare, of Wellington, aro to conduct the three services. There will be special singing by the children at each service. Exceptionally heavy salets of tickets for next Wednesday night's patriotc concert by the "Frivolity Minstrels" are reported by all'flic numerous ticket sellers, and a big house is assured. Heheaisals have been gofrig steadily on for some weeks, and the perHmers have given considerable time to the coming double performance ivlueli will be the biggest that has ieen seen in Levin for some time. The proceeds as usual will go to benefit our ocal patriotic funds-, and as the expenses will amount to next to notMhg i good sum should result.