Good Stories From the Magazines

Horowhenua Chronicle, 14 September 1915, Page 3

Good Stories From the Magazines

The .Review of Reviews has culled from the magazines the following budget of stones;— A motorist recently had great diiliculty in starting his car, and consequently was not in the very best or Juimor. He was even less so, for as lie •was turning the starting handle for another effort to start a little girl camo out of a house closo by and handed him a penny., saying, "Please, mother wants you to play 'Tipporary.' "—Tho tliairus' MagazineMrs Winship left her little son JUaudall,, to play with his baby brother, Shortly after, she heard the baby screaming lustily. Hurrying to tho place Avhero the children wore playing she found Randall picking up his marbles, while the youngster was trying vainly to get hold of some of them. "W;hy, llandall," said tho mother, "don't be so selfish! Let your nfctlo 13rotifer play with somo oi your marbles." ■ JiaJidall, "ho means to keep them afways, mother." ,7; t>h, no, dear 1 guess not ,\\vhat makes you think that?" replied JJie mother "Well guess yes!" howled "Randall. "1 know he does,, 'cause he's swallowea three of 'em already. , — Harper's -Magazine. — Harper's Magazine. ■.Miss Kfcreeoher, after 'entertaining an audience on board a large ship, was tolling about a time when, in terrible etoimy weather, she had to sing to pacify the terrified passengers. "I'on should have seen the heavy seas run ning," ho said. A big, rucie man, with a bright blue tie, looked out of t3io porthole and muttered, "i don't blanio fu<; seas."-"-The .Boy's Own Paper. A -well-known Londoner was going home to the suburbs, and at tho end ol' iiis ouii street he came upon «i little boy who was crying. The Londoner bent down to him and said. "'What is the matter?" "Ma," said the oluld still crying, "has gone and drowned all the kittens." "What a pity," said the Londoner, "I'm awfully "sorry. '"'And she promised," said the boy looked up and still crying, "that i should do it!"-The Book Monthly. There had been a violent collision between a milk wagon and a taxicab m one of the main streets of the town and an unfortunate passer-by had sustained a broken collar-bone as a result. Of course, a crowd soon collected, and one sympathetic old lady among the onlookers gazed long and pitifully at t-li-■• victim. "Poor chap!" she said at last. "Are you married?" A wave at emotion passed over the injured one's face, and then his features wont suddenly ipallid. "No!" he gasped at length. "This is the worst tiling that has ever happened to mol" The Urand Magazine.

At a meeting of a woman .suifraye organisation in a western city it was suggested that the members talk o their servant and other Avomen workeis "i h a view to Jonninir an estin e'.i as to tho strength of suffrage sentiment in that particular locality. One member, who has employed the same ■washerwoman, lor the last six years, reported that she put wie question to this worthy lady: "Are you in favour of votes for women?" "I don't pay an.; attention to politics,' the ■washer•wonian replied. " 1 leave all that to my husband." "Well, now does your lindane! stand on woman suffrage J"' "Ho dosen't stand at ail. He bolieves in women staying home and minding their own business." "How many families do you wash ior'r"' "Six" "And what doea your husband do, JJary?" "He ain't doin' anything right now, unle&s he found something this morning."—National Mcjnthly. A man, who had seen the wide world and spent decades in doing things of note, paid a visit to the town of his youth. He was accorded a banquets by his stay-at-home schoolmates, and I went expecting a great talk over old tiniee. But he was disappointed. They were mostly hypochondriacs, and spent the evening in discussions of such things. When the wanderer had got away he was asked how he Had enjoyed tii3 banquet. '"Banquet;" he replied, '"'it wasn't a banquet. it was an organ reclital."—The Vegetarian Messenger.