Odd Jokes

Horowhenua Chronicle, 26 September 1913, Page 4

Odd Jokes

SLEEPY MAGISTRATE. A Paris magistrate has the habit of going to sleep on the bench. Whenever his slumbers become too noticeable, the president of the court wakes him by gently touching him on the leg with his foot. Recently he was more sleepy than usual, for when aroused lie responded drowsily to the amusement of the court, "Is Pna't you, Eugenie y :

CONVINCED. An elderly lady entered, a shop and asked to be shown some tablecloths. The salesman brought ;. pile and showed them to her, but she said she had seen these before. "Haven't you something new?'' she asked. The man then brought another pile, and showed them to her. "These are the newest pattern," he said. "Ton will notice the edge runs round the border, and the centre is in the middle." "Hear me, yes ! I will take half

a dozen of those," said the lady. A ZEALOUS OFFICER. The chief constable of a small town received by post six "Rogue's Gallery" photographs, taken in different positions, of an old offender wanted for burglary a neighbouring city. A fortnight later the city chief of police received a letter from this constable : "I have arrested five of the men, _ and am going after the sixth to-night!"

CAREFUL SANDT. Sandy, noted for his thrift, ha 1 been married a fortnight wEen he met a friend, who inquired how matrimony suited him. "Mon," said Sandy in depressed tones, "it's awfu'. The wife is aye botherin' me for siller." t "What, already?" exclaimed his friend. "Hoo muekle dae ye gie her?" "Why," said the thrifty one, "I no gi'en her onything yet!"

CONSIDERATE. They had been talking as they walked. She had remarked pathetically: ''Oh, it must be terrible for a man to be rejected by a woman !" "Indeed, it must," was his response. Then, after a while, with sympathetic ingenuousness, she exclaimed: "It doesn't seem that I could ever have the heart to do it." And there came a silence between them as he thought it over.