The Steward of the Chiltern Hund reds.

Horowhenua Chronicle, 24 June 1910, Page 4

The Steward of the Chiltern Hund reds.

A CONSTITUTIONAL ANOMALY.

(By G. K. Chesterton.)

The cither day, on a stray spur of the Chfiltern Hills, I clinrbed up upon one of 'those high., abrupt, windy churchyards .from .which the. dead seem to look down: Uipon all the living. It was a mountain of gods. In that church yard .liiy the bones of great Puritan lords, of a time when most of tlio power of En-gland was Puritan, even of the Iflsltalblishedi Church. And below tihe.se uplifted homes lay the huge aud hollow valleys of the English countryside, where the motors went by every now and then like meteloi's, where stood out in 'white squares and oblongs in the chequered forest many of the country seaits even of those same 'families now dulled, with wealth or decayed with Toryism. And looking over that dieep green prospect 011 'that luiininoiiis yellow evening, a lovely and austere, thought came into my mind; a thought as beautiful as the green, wood and as grave as the tombs. The thought was this: that T should like to go into Parliament, quarrel with my party, accept the. Stewardship of the Chiltern Hundreds, and then refuse to give it up.

We are so proud .in England of our crazy constitutional nmomnlics tJia.t T fancy that very few readers indeed will need to i)e Ifrold about the S'tewa I'd of the Chiltern Hundreds. But in case there should be here or there one happy man who has never heard, of such twisted tomfooleries, I will rapidly .remind you what this legal fiction, is. As ilt is quite a voluntary, sometimes oven an eager, affair to gelt into Parliament, you would .naturally suppose that it would be also a voluntary matter to get oult again. Von would think your fellow-members would be indifferent, or even relieved to see you go; especially as ;by another exercise of the shrewd, illogical old English common-sense) they have carefully built ItJie room too small for the people who have to sit in it. But .not so, mv pippins; as .it says in the ".Iliad. 5 ' If you ai'e merely a member of Parliament (Lord knows why) yon can'L resign. Hut if you are a .Minister of the Grown, (Lord knows why) you can. It is necessary to get \nto the Mini.stry in order to geit out of the House; and they have to gi«> you some office that doesn't exist or 'that nobody elst wnwts, and thus unlock t'lu> door. So you go to the Primo Miwis'ter, eoineenliug ytour or of fatigue, and say, "Tt" lias been the am hilt ion of my life to be Steward of the Chiltern Hundreds." Hie Prime Minister • then replies, '■r can imagine no man more fitted both morally and mentally for that high office." He then gives it you. and yo.u hurriedly leave, reflecting :!iow the republics of' the Continent reel anarchially to mid : rrn tor lack of a little solid English directness and simplicity. z Xow t.lie tli on gilt tlinJt struck mi' like a thunderbolt as I sat oil the tli litem slope was that T would like to get. the Prime Minister Ito «r/e mo the Oh,ilte.ru Hundreds, 7ind then startle and disturb lb; m b v showing the utmost initerest in n:V work. T should profess a ffenera'l knowledge of my duties, but wi<ii to be instructed i n the details. [ should ask to see tl.e Umlor-S'tew,., d i a .n xi /. and all the fine staff of experienced p?lna.nont officials who are the ?10.-v of this department. And, indeed my enthusiasm would not be wihoilv unreal. F or ;IS far ns T can recollect the original duties of a Steward of the Chiltern Hundreds were to put down the outlaws and brigands m that part of the world still, and though their methods have so v !, 'tered as to require a corresponding alteration in tlio tactics of the Steward, T do not see wliv an energtvtie and public-spirited Steward .should not mib tliem velt.. I'or the robbers have not vanishI 1 the old high forests to the [vest of the great city. Tl.e thieves T " ot they have grown

y A l -r e T.'iat tliey .are inv^isiMVlf. on do not see Ithe \vrunl "Asia" written across a map of that '•ti!; T- : '•?/' do • vo " soe thti fr ' i i apross tlle foiui'trv- : s . <)f J-«igli."d; thong]) it is rorvM\- " ntien i.n ecjnally .k.rjre letters. T Kivoh mon govern inn; 11 v noa-t strtohes of thatlmnfcrv, whose every step life has I )e ,n such li.il: « slip would 'have .senit them to Sr r ; -'""t « le y trod ahnz\l° wmnJ 41 ' ri ' n ): " tu ' eon n fl.nd r' t wall as s!mi'p as a s "' ( ; r( 1 1 . fjp- as deftly and 0,,,,1'ti1v nf f] t "Y ' X l *- ( f- Tlle °l their silont violence itself oibscured what tliey were at; if tliey soem > stand for the rights of property t. i.s really hec-ause the.v have so often evaded them. And if tliov do , f)t s P«'k laws, it is only' because they take the>m. Rut after all u'e only need a fttew-n-illv n 'r 9" ~t l ern Hundreds who hm understands eats ,and thieves. £ l""* tilfk ''iniiiwil differently

from jin-otlher; and tlie rich could 11, f™ I( ] ,ors as dexterously as 't lev catch (utters or aitiMered doer if ■ tliey were really at all keen upon <l«'»g.it. Rut then tliey never have an 'J" c, . e "''th antlers; nor a nor.sonal mend who is am otter. Wlimi some of the groat lords tlialb He in tho chiirohyard behind me wenlt. out tlie foes m those deep woods beneath, I uviger that they 'ia<l J ,mvs the hows of the outT'fi aU t <l f l)ea ,' vs . a «aiins't the snears mintV bei ' k " !l, ? ht ' S -- Th °y kn ™' \ ut they were aJiout; /they fought the evildoers of .their age with the weapons of their ago. If the same common-sense was applied to com!3 a la Tr in foa " t >;- ei ff lit hours it Tr ilf n , ll iJ ver "' llrtl!f the Ameriie.au Ti lists and the African forward fiitanie Bu/b it will „rJt he done; toi the governwig class either does not care, or cares very much, for tJie cnminails; and as forme, fluid elusive cippaiTtunity of being Cou- ■ fcnlhle of Boiaoonlsfield (witlf grossly powers), hut T fear T