AN OLD REVOLVER.— The earth.

Hawke's Bay Weekly Times, Volume 2, Issue 76, 15 June 1868, Page 146

AN OLD REVOLVER.— The earth.

Three is likely to be a divided vole for the presidency of the Wesleyan Methodist Conference ensuing. Three gentlemen are mentioned —the Rev. J. Farrar, Rev. Dr Jobson, and Rev. S. R Hall.. ; A private of the 83rd Regiment, stationed at Gibraltar, has been arrested for shooting Police-sergeant Wall whilst on duty, and also for wounding a Mr Pinela. ' •

Two aechitrcs competed for an engagement. One made a long and learned dissertation on the principles of his art The other simply said, “ What my brother has so learnedly discribed I can do.” He gotthe job. .. “ I want to buy sewing machine,” said an old lady, entering a, Bhop, “ Do you wish a ‘machine with a feller ?” inquired the shopman. “Goodness, no!” she exclamed. “Don’t want any of your fellers about me.”

I think it must be Leigh Hunt that, in one .of his .letters,. speaks of a day. that would inake.no one bat an umbrella-maker happy. During a series of such days,T ventured to congratulate my umbreUa maker.; “-Yes, that’s.all very well, sir,” he replied; “ but.then-there’s nothing whatever doing in parasols.” ’.An ingenious Yankee has modelled a gun to throw a,shell five thousand: miles, and large.enoogh to destroy London at one discharged ; . This marvellous engihe of war will .be- mounted \_<xa a; turret * two miles high, now preparing for its reception in Washington,- and'in'a recent speech General Grant advocated its use-to-diotafce;td Great Britain their terms for the settlement of the Seward-Train-Alabama question.; L. -i- : : :,l’i

Monster Pigs.—Yesterday-afternoon the shop of Messrs-Fisher & Co., butchers, was besieged by.- a crowd: of people,'- who were admiring the carcases of two monster pigs which were hanging in front of their establishment. They were as large- as many’a bullock we have seen-in Auckland, the largest of them weighing six cwt. We have seldom even 'in the old country seen animals of the porcine species which reabhed such an-enormous; size; Them' is at present a great scarcity of hameahd bbcon in i: Auckland:- 'Wouldit mot- : pay V.’our farmers to tummore of their-attention--to the feeding of these' valuable- animals' and the; curing of bacon and hams Zealand Herald, sth June, . - Fatal shocking accident has occurred at Lyttelton, tp the family of a man named From fhe.statement of .the mbnj it Appears that twb of His children' wdre iil; his wife, whom subject to epileptio fits, 'was in an adjoining: rbbmnimsingthe; feUaSleepibesi^^ found wife on the flopr. in' Mmes^andt

mg; his pwh handß terribly.'; Drs .Rouse and iMottley were Bobbin attendance,~and did,; all:, they-?- gould., '' 'Dr : {Donald also at” noon -and-the mother -is not Bkely■to ! survive.

'■ ■ VandaijlSßi;' iNALOKLANb.—TheDaiIy .Southern Cross, 23rd May, Tegrets*‘t6 learn that an act of. vandalism was committeda few days ago at the New; Post-office—in the; disfigurement{ of the bust of H. M. Queen Victoria, by breaking off the nose. We sincerely trust the police may be able to discover the offender.”

The Lxfb of i WoMAir Saved by Two 'Qneafibeyan Age containsthe following account of: a remarkable occur- ■ rence, if the statement be true:—“ Mrs E. • O.' Evans was attacked by, an’ infuriated milch cow on Friday,, 10th May, and we have learned the .following .noteworthy facts connected with the. case: When the cow attacked Mrs Evans no one was pre* : sent but two of; her ..children, on whose ; statement we hare to rely for the veracity of the very, remarkable incidents about to be narrated. In rushing on her victim the cow, missing to strike with her horns, I broughther poll flat ini contact with her victim’s chest, striking her to the ground, fixing [her. there between her horns. Mrs. Evans , recollects nothing from this time until she was'safe in a neighbor’s house, for she immediately fainted. But the children, who thought their mother was dead, say that while, holding her to the ground in. the manner. already described, the cow kept bellowing furiously* and pawing her victim. Her roars attracted .the attention of two quiet milkers, which -were grazing on the bill near by, and these immediately came full canter to the scene, and* what is so worthy of remark, appearing to recognise an old friend in the form of the prostrate woman, unitedly attacked and drove off the aggressor, and taking up a position on each side ,of the unfortunate sufferer* nobly kept the offending cow at bay. Meanwhile, ah if sympathising with, their injured mistress, these friendly brutes kept their post and continued to smell and lick her features. 5 ; Many times did the angry cow attempt to renew the assault, and as many times was she repelled by Mrs Evans’ defenders.* Tired of waiting, the mischievous brute at length made oflj leaving the others masters of the position. Presently Mrs Evans partially recovered her consciousness, and rising from between her faithful guardians, was'joined by her weeping children, made off in the direction of and the Manaro Boad. Her little ones, thinkr ing that she was going for aid, reminded her that no one lived in that direction, and led her in' the direction of Mr M*Donald’s, where only she sufficiently recovered her consciousnes to know where she was and understand what she had : passed through; There' can be little doubt that Mrs Evans owes the preservation of her life to the sagacity of her kindly milkers.’*

A short time since (says the Ararat Advertiser) a rather amusing circumstance happened to one of our Ararat publicans, which, for the novelty of the position and as a warning to others, deserves to be recorded. The landlord to whom we refer had occasion, during the early pa'rt“ of the night alluded to, to forcibly eject a gentleman from the premises, who had' partaken rather freely of liquor, and being of ah argumentative and bellicose turn when so influenced, it was deemed best to subject him to the ordeal of the night air, which was particularly cold, and calculated to effect a speedy cure. Accordingly, -his lodgings were taken ( on the-cold ground,’ till about two or three o'clock in the morning, when the fumes off drink became insufficient to support him from-the keen winds, and- he was forced to rouse himself, and commence knocking for admission in a manner so persistent. as to command admiration if but exercised for the benefit of a worthier object. The landlord slept in front of his premises oh this 'night, all'the other inmates sleeping so far back' as to ibe completely removed from the noise, of the industrious petitioner outside. Under the circumstances iof thp man’s-continual and irritating knocking, our friend thought it best to admit him, ; and procure peace atid slumber., Accordingly he sallied to .the hall door in his night, dress, ; and,, opening it, called to the gentleman'outside to step in. But; the: knocker, had -by •. this ‘ -time grown weary of one dpor, and,, with the view of lightening' his labors' by a little variety, had gone to; another : whereupob the landlord, stepped ,gingerly.. outside to call him, and, having done, so, they both returned 1 , to: the entrance, 1 but alas I ’th'e wind had slammed the door tp, and. both were ‘outside in the cold.’ It may be more easily imagined than described what] a - tattoo the. master : made, rand how. -laboriously his companion worked, encouraged' by h& presence. 1 After a long sojourn by the host in his very light raiment, and after enduring many untimeous jests from his brother: ih. distress, ; some of:, the servants were aroused? and admission was gained. t "' -° J '

: iDßEnjmoN3.~ .Water A-.clear ..fluid once used as a drink.' - Dentist—One who works .• for:. bis. : own :teeth;-by pulling out those of other people. . .My : Dear —An; ex-, pression used by man and wife at'the com* meneemeritof a<piarrel. iJPdlieemdn—A. man : employed .tp . mtheyopen.air, JBwrgava— Aludicroustrarisactidninwhich eitherpartytliinkaihe hasckeatedthe other. man.!Bo«W^—The^f^dehead-dressin bddy, y Twelve pnsohers. ih a hox to.try 'one more lattice ! pardoned rades. flow er ihat flourisßuee- m-*' learned gentleman from yoifrenemyandkeepithimself..3£bjtesf The god 1 bf thO hin eteohth centwyi ''

}; Most, persons' pronounce the; name of the English Premier incorrectly.; His own way of pronouncing it isTKz’f<sijy*el*lyi '

Air illicit distiller in Chicago- kept the revenue officers away by posting tho sign t\ aipalhpox?’ over his door.- *•; •>vs>:Vfe"?

So great. is the destitution of New -York thatrdruhkards ahd vagabonds hre j being- . discharged. from the Workhouses to. make- ~ room for the deserving poor, ■ ; 'Ojdnitsc ' hIA.CK4T ’was, on 21st. March, ; - sentenced-to T2 y ears*penal servitude.’ He . addressed the Courts and - declared hiinself to be a determined I'eniati;iand advised Ghpyernment. to sur rerider£Ereland quietly. The Union of the Kingdom; of - Poland with the other portions of the Jiussian’empire has been formally completed by the issue of a decree abolishing the administrative ; commission which has hitherto go- ~ verned that province. . •' “So 1 you are going to buy a school P’* said a young lady to a maiden aunt. “Well, for my part, sooner than do that,'l would marry a widower with nine children.”^—“l would prefer that was tlie. quiet reply; “ but where is the widower?”

Peommo Sheep.— On the farm of Mr T; P; Brown, at Baydon, Wilts, during the short space .of six . hours, in. the night of the 6th. inst j thirteen ewes-gave birth. to twenty-nine lambs ; twelve two each, and one five j all perfect, alive, and doing well. : —Devises Gazette.

“ What are you doing there ?—turn your pipe the other way,”, cried a fireman to a volunteer, who, while a public house was burning, was drenching with water a part of the, building which was not even menaced by flames. “ It’s all very well,” replied the amateur, keeping up' a well-directed flood from his hose, “ but behind that parlor door’s my score, and I mean fo wash it out.” '

. Woeth Knowing.—A physician at one of the Paris hospitals has just cured a case of delirium tremens brought on by. excessive drinking, by the singular remedy of subjecting the patient to the constant influence of-the vapor of'spirits. The plan is not new, having been long used in Sweden to radically cure drunkenness. The persons addicted todrink are shut up in a cell, and all the food, supplied them is impregnated with brandy. . At the end of four or five days they become completely disgusted with the taste and smell, and they come out radically cured. ThC slightest smell of spirits at last makes then! shudder.