THE FUNNY SIDE OF THE SEAT OF DEBATE.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume 18, Issue 1187, 2 December 1871, Page 2

THE FUNNY SIDE OF THE SEAT OF DEBATE.

[/ROM THE XYTTELTON TIMES.] Seven out of twenty eight "Lords" voted against Mr Waterhouse's motion, .and consequently in favor of the decision arrived at by the Lower House. One of these, the Hon. Mr Holmes, was quite pathetic, .almost poetical, certainly gushing in describing the objections he had to Wellington as a place to live in, and the superier attractions of Dunedin. The situation of Wellington, remarked Mr Holmes, rendered it highly undesirable as a place for persons to live in for three or four months in the year. If so, what is the condition of the unfortunates who are condemned to live there all the year round ? No wonder that Ministers are glad to get away from the place where, Mr Holmes says, it is a sort of penance to live only three months out of the twelve. Wellington, he went on to say, decidedly the most unhealthy town occupied by Europeans that he had ever lived in. The remark appears to have caused a laugh, whereupon Mr Holmes appealed to the local burial ground, '* where there were more graves of persons from ten to twenty-five years of age than be had ever seen in any countiy." Fancy Mr Holmes meditating among the tombs, and concocting a speech "by the cold Hie Jacets of the dead:' The bare idea is ludicrous enough, but the reality —that must have been poinethincj worth witnessing. It is too bad altogether to make use of the departed in this way, and we are surprised that some hon, member —Dr. Buchanan, for instance —did not enter a dignified protest on the ground of sacrilege. But Mr Holmes had more statistics of the same lugubrious character. Another proof of Wellington's extreme unhealthiness could, he observed, be obtained by " watching the people going to church on S mday. There were more persons clothed in mourning than in any other community of the same extent he had ever seen/' This observation displays an acuteness and nicety of perception, and withal an intimate knowledge of dress, for which we are at some loss to account. It must, however, be very refreshing for the people of Wellington to know that "a ehiel's amang them taking notes" of this description, especially when to this knowledge is superadded the reflection that the said notes haye been printed in the pages of Hansard, and are therefore on permanent record. We should not be astonished to hear that, when the session was over, Mr Holmes has retired from the scene of his labors—from the burial ground and the place where the best view of people going co church can be obtained—the denizens of Wellington had set up his effigy in the character of Old Mortality, with the inscription, —" Departed this city, death and mourning statistics and all, on , to the inexpressible joy and unutterable relief of the inhabitants." But we have to thank Mr Holmes for one thing, and we can assure him that we feel extremely giateful. He has given Mr Mantell's latest mot Speaking of the character of Wellington water, which we are told is altoge< her beyond a joke, Mr Holmes Ha id : " Where several of the members resided, the well and the watercloset were side by side, and from the fact of several houses being on lower ground than the cemetery "--still that cemetery with its sad and silent witnesses—" his honorable friend Mr Mantell had wittily and truly described the water in that, locality as having a body iu it." as Mr Holmes very truly observed, were facts that ought not to be lightly considered, but they are facts which,' while they tell strongly against the local authorities, and show that a proper water supply and efficient drainage are urgently required, do not establish the necessity for holding the session of the Assembly at Dunedin, or any other place than the seat of Government It is, perhaps, unfortunate that Wellington should be the capital, seeing that it is not a very agreeable place to live in, but the wells and the water closets, the cemetery, and the water with a body in it will all be put right by-and-bye; and if Mr Holmes would only give his mind to it he might discover, some remedy for, the. high winds, the clouds of dust, the rapid changes of temperature, and even the

earthquakes. He should move for a Royal Commission on the subject, or at least propose that, since the Government will insist on having the sessions at Wellington, every member qf the Assembly be supplied with a smellingbottle, a pocket pistol, and a portable filter. The < : dem'd body," as Mantalini would-have called it, might be tempo rarity disposed of in that way, and Wellington, though it can never hope to become such an earthly paradise as Dunedin— what place can ? would surely be tolerable for* 3 or 4 months.