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Hawke's Bay Times, Volume IV, Issue 203, 2 December 1864, Page 3

It was rumoured at Wanganui that a large party of Waikatos had arrived at Waitotara, and were making preparations to resist any attempt on the part of the Europeans to open the road between Wanganui and Taranaki. “ I feel rather dull to day,” as the razor said, after it had been used to cut corns. Josh Billings Insures his Life. —l turn to the conclusion lately that life was so onsartin, that he only way for me to stand a fair chance with other folks was to get my life insured, so I called on the agent of the Garden Angel Life Insurance Co., and answered the following questions, which were put to me, over the top of a pair of speckfj by a slick little fat old feller, with a round grey head on him as any man ever owned:—l. Are you mail or femail ? If so, state how long you have been so. 2. Had you a father or mother? If so, which ? 3. Are you subject to fits P and if so, du yu have more than one at a time ? 4. What iz your precise filing wate ? 5. Did you ever have any ancestors ; and if so, how much ? 6. What is your legal opinion of the coustitushunality of the ten commandments? 7. Du yu have any night-mare? 8. Aw you married or single, ~or are you a bachelor ? 9. Du yu believe in a future stait ? If you do stait it ? 10. What are your private sentiments about a rush of rats to the hed? Can it be did successfully ? 11. Have) you ever committed suicide ? and if so, how did it affect you? —After answering the above questions, like a man, in the confirmatiff, the slick little fat old feller with gold specks on sed I was insured for life, and probably would remain so for some years, I thanked him, and smiled one of my most pensive smiles.