CURIOUS CUSTOMS.

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume IV, Issue 187, 12 August 1864, Page 2

CURIOUS CUSTOMS.

By a Free and Easy Shxngler, (From the Otago Daily'JTimes.J Pursuing my researches into the mysteries of that instructive branch of economical science, the New Zealand Tariff, I became aware of some interesting facts which I venture to say could not be learnt from any other source. Thus, anchovies and sardines are usually supposed to be fish; certainly Buffon, and other ignorant naturalists class them amongst the piscatory tribes. But, bless you ! we in New Zealand are better informed. They are not fish at all—at any rate they are not preserved fish, albeit the one is pickled in brine and the other is conserved—let us say—in oil. So whilst Finnon baddies, Yarmouth bloaters, and potted lobsters are allowed to enter the port free—a concession for which they are doubtlessly overwhelmed with gratitude, anchovies and sardines are caught in the tide-waiter’s net and made to pay duty, at the rate of 4s. per cubic foot. Oh, Brown ! fancy a cubic foot of anchovies! Biscuits, too, are fancy free —I mean to say fancy biscuits are free, and so are “ flavouring essences,” and isinglass, and gelantine, and curry powder, which is satisfactory to the lovers of good things. But if you want a jam-tart on Sunday, to eke out your scantily furnished dinner table, my dear Mrs. Nokes, or a bottle of pickles to give a zest to the carefully husbanded cold meat, or a bit of candied peel for your Christmas pudding, or if poor little Sally should require some currant jelly for her sore throat —why, for each and all of these, you must contribute something to the revenue. In like good manner you shall pay three good pence on your pound of coffee; but essence of coffee, for flavouring roasted beans, which will be sold to you as veritable Mocha, is received with a smile, and nothing to pay—thank you ! Jewellery is free, so that there is never a halfpenny levied on my friend Jones for his rings, and his pins, and his golden repeater, nor for the brooches, and ear-rings, and nose-rings, which adorn not, but are adorned by, his beautiful wife. But every kettle and saucepan in your kitchen has been weighed in the balance, and charged accordingly. Golden chains—matrimonial or contraband of matrimony—are duty free; but, before you can get an iron chain for your dog, or an anti-burglarious chain for your garden gate, or a safety-chain for your waggon, you mnst pay 3s. per cwt. The corrugated iron sheets on your roof will cost you nothing in the shape of taxation; but beware of using iron tiles, and of putting on a ridge-cap, or indulging in the superfluity of guttering, for all these have been declared to be liable to duty. You may buy your pound of shot and welcome; —there is no charge for that; but before you can use it youmustpay threepence per poundonyourown gunpowder, and ss, on your fowling piece. Olive oil, if perfumed—mark the qualification —is admitted free, and so is palm oil (which must be consolatory to tender-handed officials) ; but salad oil is ruthlessly mulcted at the rate of 4s. per cubic foot. So is cas-tor-oil, though all drugs are said to be free from duty, and I never yet heard of any one using castor-oil as a home honche. Sulphur is very properly admitted scot-iree, but mustard is a luxury which must be paid for. Whiting, blacking and blue come in untaxed, so that we may get ourselves up in the style of ancient Britons free of expense. The legitimate hop is unmolested by the collector’s hand, but you cannot cut capers at a lower figure than 4s. per foot, which must be a

heavy blow a great discouragement to the professors of the saltatory art. How if exclusive smuggling was discountenanced by a raid upon the haul ton at the next Bachelors’ Ball? The cheap and nasty gourmand who is fond of preserved soup, may have it, and no man shall receive customs dues thereon ; but if you prefer to encourge the native artiste, and venture on the purchase of such aids to good cookery as vermicelli and maccaroni, you will not be allowed to do so until you have been fined 4s. for every cubic foot that you shall consume. And if you afe guilty of an ostentatious indulgence in nickel spoons, or plated forks, you shall pay handsomely for your weakness; but you may dine off solid silver every day if you please, and you will not be mulcted for your vanity. Et ainsi du reste. I quit the subject not because it is exhausted, but for fear lest I should exceed the limits assigned to me, and be “ crowded out” in consequence.