SPIRIT OF “PUNCH.”

Hawke's Bay Times, Volume I, Issue 21, 21 November 1861, Page 6 (Supplement)

SPIRIT OF “PUNCH.”

the civil war in America. Charleston, July 20, 1861. Hlr. Pencil—Sir, —l have proposition to mate. Tour valuable journal, world wide reputation, great influence ought to have, like other papers, special correspondent at scat of war. 1 am the man. In short, war correspondent by nature. If you accept my offer I will telegraph my letters to St. John’s, N. J!., whence they will be forwarded to you via steamer—finis you will obtain details ahead of all rivals. Of course in sending communications over the wires, I must be as concise as possible, to save time and expense, which may produce a certain twitchiness of stylo; to this, however, you may not object. Accompanying letter specimen of my style : “ Am now in Charleston, very centre of seccsionism. Was told in North I should bo able to get neither lodging nor food in this city. How absurdly tilings are exaggerated at, distance. Found little or no difficulty in securing fair portion of billiard table on which I sleep quite comfortably ; a little inconvenient in the morning to be sure, when they commence pool, for although thei have no right to play at mp end before 7 o"’ clock, still it is almost impossible to prevent balls living about occasionally. Gentleman this morning made winning hazard‘off back ot my head, but they would not let it count, which I was not sorry for on whole ! stroke unintentional I know, but billiard balls bard, and human nature weak, particularly about lower part back of head. As for food live on clover; or something confoundedly like it, call it gumbo have it three times a-day. Yesterday dined off split chicken, looked like arms of Austria broiled. For breakfrst they serve us species of vulcanised pancake known I think (mind, only think, so if mistaken do not set mo down as another Mr. Arrowroot of Times’ correspondence notoriety), known I think, as corn-dod-gers, or flap-jack. One clastic substance served up with treacle, so as to resemble blister, is I know called Buckwheat cake.

“ To-day witnessed one of institutions of country in ils most striking aspect. Public bar-room at free lunch time. Jlort drinking-saloons of any eminence sp: end lunch table from eleven to ono

o’clock ; every one chooses comes in eats as much as he likes, and pays nothing. About twelve o’clock drop into ‘ Gen ; ’ great crowd people there, eating, drinking, smoking talking. Large table set out, boiled beef, oyster soup, gumbo, dried fish cheese, crackers, and bread. Gentlemanly barkeeper mixing drinks in highly artistic manner, pouring liquid from one tumbler to another in parabolic curve over his head. General limn of conversation, in which the words ‘ Secession,’ ‘ Southern Confederation.’ ‘No how you can fix it,’ * that long, slab-sided, nigger-stealing son a- of gun, Abe Lincoln.’ ‘No sivree boss 1’ most frequently heard. Shuffling of feet, clinking of ice in huge pitchers, &c Works of art adorn walls—female figures in high style of undress most patronised. Spittoons as large as bushel baskets generalously distributed over marble floor, easy chairs in all directions —gentlemen sitting on shoulderblades. Accompanying drawing faithful representatation of scene.

“ Charleston picturesque old city—quite classic ground— has a ruin somewhere—powder-mill blown up several years ago. i’cople of Charleston talk about their antiquities—one house eighty years old. Several line hotels, two or three excellent churches, and very nice arsenal. Voluminous market place, well supplied with okta, squash, pumpkins, peanuts, pop corn, yams squirrel robins, clams, &e. Mutton and beef not very abundant, South Carolina having seceded from butchers’ meat. City Hall a neat little edifice, Post-Office somewhat in church. There is good deal of sea, and bay, and water of one kind and another round about, witli several forts in it and on it. Good esplanade, called White Point Garden —walks macadamised with pepperment lozenges, or sea-shells,, don’t know which; anyway beautiful effect.

State of society, generally, very much disorgainised. Bodies aimed men patrol streets all night. Everyone armed to teeth, if they have teeth ; very often have not in this country, in which case, armed to upper lip or organ of philoprogenitiveness. Have been arrested five times, brought before vigilance committee, suspicious character, who was I ? where did I come from ? &e., (See. Staled was personal friend of Mr. Punch, special correspondent—All right lot otf immediately. Mr. Punch greatly respected hero, next to General Washington. “ Attended grand caucus last night—great demonstration. Principal speaker burst all buttons otf shirt front, said if Northern States would only contract to carry the mails as usual, and supply them with ice, poultry, hay, and firearms, South Carolina would never surrender, rather perish! Patriot’s grave better far than something else—patriot’s everything better than' efefvthing else, nothing like patriots, in fact every-man not patriot ought to have his head punched -(or words to that effect.) Agreeably surprised at dignity and decorum with which meeting was conducted —only one fight, and that attended with no fatal results —wounded man walked down street next day, expected to recover. Southerners certainly very gentlemanly men, should feel more at ease in their society ii they didn’t carry quite so many bowie knives about; don t see how they manage it I only wear two, one up may back other dowh leg of pants, and small revolver in breast pocket, still find it inconvenient in sitting down, —feel as if I had received ticket to Orthopedic Institution, and been very thoroughly treated. However I hope to avoid any unpleasant feeli"g hy carelully conforming to customs of country ; am conforming continually, consequence is, am becoming very popular—great number of distinguished persons already call me Jim—drink with every one; this morning took two ‘ stone walls’ and a ‘ General Jackson’ before breakfast After breakfast met Judge King, invited me to ‘smile,’ and wo smiled; again (in this land yon can smile and smile, and not be a villain), result was, 1 drank three ‘ brandy cocktails,’ two ‘ gin slings,’ one ‘ buttered rum,’ and a ‘ moral suasion’ by lunch time : obliged to do it in order to maintain social position. Find am getting verv popular ; met Governor Pickens to-day, offered me post of Judge of Supreme Court, ‘when things got fixed up a bit ;’ informed him I know nothing of law ; replied it was of ’ no consequence ;’ had 1 common sense ?’ I thought I had ;he considered that quite sufficient ; I was ‘ just the man they wanted.’

“ Negroes less prevalent than I anticipated ; not very industrious class of people, seem to occupy themselves chiefly sitting on barrels, corroding largo eats of boiled corn exhibiting rows of teeth that look like keys of piano. Dreadful fall in niggers recently (will rise by-and-by, I suspect). ‘ Niggers amt worth half what they wos,’ general sentiment. Head waiter at hotel weeping bitterly at breakfast, inquired cause ; told me he had suffered severe pecuniary loss three months ago was worth fifteen hundred dollars, now would not sell for than seven hundred. Free niggers go about streets trying to sell themselves in order to realise before civil war breaks out. My opinion is there will be no secession for long. North will cut off supply of icc, Southerners w ill have none to make mint juleps ; whole South in a state of ancient mariner have to cave in and there will be an end of (his cstrapede. Oneo more eagle will soar about prostrate body of defeated anarchy. Lion will lie down with lamb ; every tlmm 0. KA °

“ Talking of customs of country, I wish you you would publish accompanying portrait of Colonel Bronze gentlemanly proprietor of Pavilion Hotel. Also portraits of Jim Bnookenback, gentlemanly barkeeper, and Mr. Kelly, gentlemanly porter of hotel. Tfcosc little attentions quite usual, I assure you ; custom of country. Hope von will not allow yourself to be influenced by any absurd prc-couceived prejudices against, puliiing ; if so, it will seriously embarrass private arrangements of Amur’s, “ Gorilla.”

[vTc have received 13/fi applications from gentlemen residing in America, each applicant offering to become our war cm respondent. We will see about it ; but at the same time it is doubtful whether wo shall want any war correspondent until there is a war.— Ed. Punch.']

* O.X. in the American language, stands for all correct,” or ”-orl korrect.”