HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Volume 81, Issue 43, 13 November 1937, Page 14

HUMOUR

^ is rcally boss >«home?" asked a bachelor friend of Mr Henpeck. "Well," said tbe married one, "of course, my wife assumes coinmand of the. children, thc servants, tbe dog, tbe cat, and tbe eanary. " "But," he added, quickly, "I can say wbat I like-to the goldfish."

A Scottish farmer, walking home from the kirk with his wife and thinking over the sermon,- in which the minister had expounded graphically on evexlasting punishment, exclaimed: — "Mary, it canna be. It just canna be. No man 's 0constitution could stand it."

An old lady, taking the cure at Harrogate, ran across her looal vicar. 4 'Oh, Yicar, " she . ■ said," 1 'last week my sister missed a boat on which »he had intended to travel. The ship was lost at sea with all the passengers and crew. Now, Yicar," she added, "woulc you not call that an act of Providence"?" "I cannot say," replied the clergyman, quietly. "I've never met your Bister."

The teacher was giving a health talk t0 her class, and -warned them never to kiss animals or birds. "Can you give me an in6tance of the dangers of this, Jackie? " she asked. "Yes, miss, my Aunt Alice used to kiss her dog." 41 And what happened?" asked the teacher. "It died."

"Jones wants to borrow five pounck from me. Is he good-for that amount?-' "Yes, with proper securities." ''What would you suggest?" "A ehain and padlock, a ptii; of .andcuffs, and a watch-dog."