HUMOUR

Hawke's Bay Herald-Tribune, Issue 55, 20 March 1937, Page 18

HUMOUR

Out of Key ' a quartet of longshoremen were sing* ing on the waterfront when the tenor fell off the dock into the bay. The incident passed unnoticed by the leader, but he realized that sometMng was Wi'ong with the haxmony. " 'Smatter with you boys!" he complained. "Oue of you don't sound right." "It's Jack," rumbled the basso, solemnly. "He's off quay. "

A Scotsman and an Englishmaa f ought & duel in a daTk xoom. The Scotsman, unwilling to go the length of actually taking the other man 's life (although the quarrel had been a mortal one), relented, and fired his pistol up. the large chimney that was in the room. His .adversary was dead when the doctor arrived. • .

Fussy • A bricklayer was working on a scaf* fold when Suddenly a bflek- slipped from his hand and dropped/on to the head of a workmate, who was mixing mortar below. " Tfie unZbxtuaate man starte^Qjudcrlhg " about and groaning. Tho bricklayer, started down, contempt in his eyes. "Come ,comeI" he yelled at last, "It ean't have hurt as much as that, man. Why, it wasn't on your. head half a secondl."

Urgent, • A young surgeon received a telephone call from a colleague, .who Jnvited him to make a fourth at bridge. "Going out, dear?" asked his wife, sympathetically. "I'm afraid so," was the grave Vl7"It's a very important case. There are three doctors there already." .

Progress It. was the ninetieth birthday of the grand old man of the village, and ' a number of his friends had gathered at the inn to congratulate Mm. After listening to their speeches the old man rose to reply: "Thank'ee for your compliments an' wishes. Oi can't grumble 'cept for rheumaticky pains. Ther's one thing Oi cttt say an' be thankf u ' for — Oi 'm stronger on niy legr now than Oi were ninety years ago."