Some Curious Epitaphs.

Hastings Standard, Issue 79, 28 July 1896, Page 4

Some Curious Epitaphs.

The curious custom of writing epitaphs is now passing away. In Engstill, however, away in country churchyards may still be seen some amusing and interesting information on grave stones. What can beat for solemnness the following : Here lies the body of Roger Norton, Whose death was very oddly brought on; While trying one day his corn to mow off. The razor slipped and chopped his toe off. The toe, or rather what it grew to An inflamation quickly flow to ; The toe it took to mortifying And poor old lioger took to dying. Or the brief pathos of the following : This little hero that lies here Was conquered by the diarrhoea. Again we come to a pastry cook's grave : Here lies the body of Elizabeth Shoven, Well versed in the arts of pies, custards and tarts, And the lucrative trade of the oven. In a quiet secluded spot is to be found the following inscription : Here lies, departed from all earthly scenes, A first lieutenant of marines. Who always lived in pea' "~d plenty On board his ship the 1 Enclosed in box of elm Ix 1 ' -v. No more he'll hear the bridges blow, Confined now in narrow boarders No more he'll rise till further orders. The parson's wife is next dealt with : Here lies, cut off like unripe fruit, The wife of Deacon-Amos Shute Who died through drinking too much coffee Anno Domini 18-10. Poor liscle Tom Tucker next comes in : Too much blood a vein did bust And stretched Tom Tucker down in dust. Wordsworth's epitaph is short and sweet: Here lies poor W.W.. Who never more will trouble you, trouble you ! There is a deep and fervent sentiment in the following : Here lie the remains of Elizabeth Win, Who broke the shell of her earthly skin, And hatched herself a cherubim. The following is a short inscription on a baby's headstone : Mammy and I together lived Just two years and a half! She went first. I followed next— The cow before the calf.