NOTIONS.

Grey River Argus, Volume XIII, Issue 1618, 11 October 1873, Page 2

NOTIONS.

This is the real "golden age." Bear testimony the late rush to the Haast. Gold is a word of more than magic potency. Let it be whispered that the yellow metal has existence in the Moon, the digger will find means of reaching that satellite. I am confident that if Dr Livingstone could get it believed that at the source of the Nile gold might be obtained in large ;quantities, some adventurous miner would lead a party to the spot in a marvellously short time. Had it beea rumored on "reliable authority" that an El Dorado was to be found at the North Pole, it would have been reached ere now. In our school books we used to read the; sentence Labor omnia vincit. and as we ripened towards puberty it was changed into Amor omnia vincit. It might be further altered with advantage, and made read Aunt/in omniavincit. Labor is great, love is greater,.but gold is greatest. It is, facile princeps. It is a king amongst gods. Its worship is universal; Its voteries are. met in all grades, in all prof essions, in all localities.

There are to be prizes at the Nelson exhibition for the best essays. I wonder have the subjects been fixed upon yet. Tf not I would suggest that one should be on the regiriie of Curtis ; or, say, a' panegyric on that great man. There would be meet field for the poet and the word painter to draw pictures rivalling .the masterpieces of the great; Nelson- artist,: Mr John Gully Even a , common-souled mortal might be. seized ,with the divine afflatus when treating' such a subject. Another subject 'might be the description of Nelson as a place fordoingthe dolc'e far niente. A third subject would beafforded in drawing a series of sketches of the biographies of the /members of the Nelson Provincial Council paying .particular, attention io personal appearance, ; habits of dress, whether they were in. the custom of snuffing or.smpking,,how.many nobblers they usually took before dinner, &c, the number of children they had, what was the color of their wives' hair, if these latter wore teeth made by nature or by art, &c.

King of King 3is just a trifle grandiloquent in sound, isn't it, as a title designating a' chap composed of the ordinary mixture of body and soul ? But bear in mind the bearer of it represents four times ten centuries of history. Hfi must have been thought well worth looking at in England. Showing him about and feeding him there cost forty thousand pounds. Queen Victoria must have ad-; mired him muchly.; Thirty-three thousand of this sum has to be paid by that royal dame herself. It is rather strange that such a high and mighty creature should treat his wife ; as an Australian aboriginal does hislubra. The favorite spouse of the Shah used to always' take heir seat at the back of her lord during dinner, in England/ Ever and anon he would turn round with a fistfull of what is colonially styled grub or tucker.. This he would cram into the mouth of thelady,sometimes almost choking her ; from the rude way in which he thrust the food down her throat. The aboriginal male Australian when satisfying the cravings of nature,, has his female astern of him.; When he has devoured all that is nice on the 'possum bone he flings it over his shoulder to his . better : half behind him. By the way, whilst discoursing of the King of Kings. During the time that, this fellow was doing the grand in Europe squandering tens of thousands, 1 a poor priest was begging money in Australia to save his famishing subjects froth perishing of siaiv vatioiir Such is life. " A mystery that'l can't make out. . The Shah, of course, believes himself too far lifted up to cast even a solitary' glance down i upon •the wretched creatures who are only paupers. What can it be to a demi-god of his vast dimensions that the canailh are dying for bread, whilst he is. flinging riches away broadcast. ' ■ ; ; .:

; There is a tough old Presbyterian clergyman of Australia in New Zealand at present. This reverend gentleman knows a thing or two about missionary doings in this Colony in the very early days, say, about four and thirty years ago. Dr Lang is a plain, blunt fellow. He has a disagreeable .habit of speaking his mind. He does not as a rule draw it mild.: On the contrary, he draws it very harshly. Lecturing recently he described', inr.his accustomed way the style in which missionaries did their business once upon a time. The Aucklanders were wroth. They grew hot. They fermented. - They burst out withan indignant public meetin^, for the purpose of refuting the doctor's statements. But like Balaam's ass in the days of yore, instead of cursing him whom they assembled to announce as a liar, they virtually admitted the truth: of Ins allegations, and convicted themselves out of their own mouths of the very, charges brought against them by the octogenarian minister. Magna est veritas etpievalebit!

Greymouth is rich in canines. \I would not swear that' this fact has produced ah . influence on the' human denizens/ resident' here. Perhaps it has, perchance it hasn't. The folk are given somewhat to snarling. They do a good deal in the ; critic line. They know how. to see motes in others': eyes. In regard to beans, when lodged: in their own visual orbs, they are not very cute. These Gynical reflections were suggested by a canine conflict witnessed by°the undersigned onMawhera Quay, the other day. My thoughts in spite of me run in verse to-day, and slightly altering another'chap's words, I proceed to describe the interesting event. Two Newfoundlands were having a battle, Disputing the claim to a bone, When a sly little terrier doggie Was watching the contest alone. The two noble creatures went at it, With arguments an^ry and fast, When the little outsider "played possum," And collared the morsel at last. . It has just occurred to me that some sly little doggie may just slip in- and carry off that much-coveted morsel, the Westland Superintendence whilst the larger aninialo s-re disputing, , and , quite contemptuous of ,the srag.ll man.

The schoolmen seriously argued as. to how many angels could danee 1 on he point of a peedle. This was

rather a nice question to decide, but when decided not of much practical use tc ordinary mortals. It may be thought that the genus of sctmns who spent their lives in solving such problems is as extinct as the moa. Let those who are of that opinion look about them.-,Near,T ; they may change a little. lam acquainted with a gentleman" of considerable natural and acquired abilities,' who has been laboring in his: spare hours for the -last" ten years to discover the reason why women don't wear beards or whistle. Another,,, chap rof my, acquaintance ,is earnestly 'seeking to discover why the ladies . eschew .smoking and chewing,,except in^a T few instances; : Another' fellow would give two weeks' sleep to, find out why men arid women do 'riot drink equal quantities of ardent spirits. The next inquiiiitive.wants to ascertain whether men or womeri are the most eager to get married; This chap is very gallant. But the most anxious of all is a grim old* celibate, who has .become; smitten withVa fearful presentiment that the last of human mould who shall behold the death of creation, as Adam did its prime, will be a wpman..,;-He ; would exchange life gladly, for a sure. knowledge-that. his forebodings are wrong: -Ha was jilted three times when a young man.

It is stated that one-third of the whole number of European children .in India die under six months old ; that 85 :per cent, perish before they reach, two years, and that out of 100 infants bonronly 11 attain maturity. These are alarmingstatistics. They tell a terrible tale.' Such'aslau|riteriug of innocents 'has' not takeri^place^s'ince the days of Herod. Siirelyit' becomes a grave question .whether or. not it is just for European 1 men aricT women' to bring children into , ttie f world in India.' ' There 1 is a moral certainty; that i ! "B9 -per cent, will 'be ■ murdered -in ' their . minority by. ' jheP climate :> and'ita iassistants. ' : It 'may be . right to thus^go on f urniahing food; for the insatiable "maw of. death V,'. "4^ A might be better if : all men .and. yrpfpen were devorired by him whilst their bbdies and souls were yet soft arid tender. The ancients had a 'saying' that' whom the gods love, dieyoung ; ; arid the moderns hav.e sinailar notions ori the matter. 'But the strangeness of the affair is that nearly all men and -women: do .; their best to demonstrate that ithey do. notxoriio within the category of persons blessed; by divine affection. They 'every exertion to -die old.. Indeed there are few who would not prolong Uife'B span to ten cerituries;if that were possible. Under such circum-_ stances it may be fairly, doubted whether the Europeans in India ought to be allowed ,to beget offspring to experience that love ' which they' so strenuously eschew themselves. \:;CJ iV Diogenes.