ANOTHER INDIGNATION MEETING.

Grey River Argus, Volume III, Issue 184, 19 March 1867, Page 3

ANOTHER INDIGNATION MEETING.

v (FROM A VERY SPECIAL REPORTER.) The Greymouthians, both free and easy, mustered up slightly on Thursday evening last, at that sacrededifice devdted to religious purposes, to nominate a Committeellan, vice Fiter, "virtually defunct." The illumiha- (, joi the spacious building was appropriately entrusted to Wickes, who, having lighted up all the available wicks, thraw open the doors for admission free of charge ; and, lighting up a wild cigar, ' secured a seat, evidently . satisfied with the effect and success of his illumination. ■■-..^^The^room slowly tilled; no doubt a much lsirg.er number would have been present if they had only thought of coming, for whom the greater portion of the front seats were especially -reserved. Those who came evidently^expected some fun, it being publicly reported about town, on the authority of the belhnan, that the "challenge" had been .accepted, and that the grand quarrel scene after Brutus and Cassius would come off at the Institutional. r Aftertheusual amount of applause bestowed on straggling citizens, the proceedings were startled by the appearance of the late Tramroad Secretary, who was received with all the honors. He said he had laid everything jntrain for the meet, and, being accustomed tostart trains "he'd give 'em a start now," their first^duty was to get a chairman ; say\a% which he quietly disappeared into his seat winch he kept till it was time to go home. Getting a chairman is always a difficult operation, and on this occasion occupied "nearly an hour— everybody in the room de. clined..tb operate— when, on looking up at the ; gallery, our old esteemed and muchvalued; friend Dear Castor -\vas observed timidly, looking over, enjoying a comfortable smoke and a .seat amongst ye gods. Bis retreat discovered, a cry loud and long arose for Dear Castor, who was literally dragged down stairs to the place of operation, notwithstanding his appeals to Coates for mercy, but Coates would not feel. Dear Castor, finding all in vain, took his stand at the table (declining to occupy the duty-stool provided in place of the chair) supported by the representatives of the Bar on his right and the Press on his left. The comicality of his position produced such an effect on the -risibilities of. the Chairman that he fainted right ofly "amidst the plaudits of the admiring 1 audience. After a lapse of twenty minutes, the. chairman with his wand of office, a walking sticky thrashed the table and called himpslf to order— remarking convulsively " This is a meeting,"— which no one attempting to deny sent Dear Castor off into another risible tit, '.: recovering from which he plunged into the business, to the gratification of every one,— the business was, he said, to nominate citizens to the Committee of Improvements vice Fisher departed. He supposed Fisher would like to improve the occasion, (tremendous cheers and cries of :" Fish-alive oh !") — Recognising the call, that portly and roseyface individual elevated himself, flourishing wildly in his hand a ream of foolscap done up into a rbllj he declined the kind invitation of the chair to " pile up the agony" again, having piled it up successfully last indignation meeting— (cheers) —but he had an amendjnenttomove. (Hear, hear.) "That all the Improvement Coinmitteenien become like him, virtually defunct." (Great sensation and — '' uproar.)— During which the chair thought it impossible -to .receive such an aiueuduieut, and declined it with thanks, much to the disgust of the mover, who hereon cummei.ced \to abuse "FishaU? and Ka Kas" to hishearts content, greatly, to the ; -amusement of the 'assemblage, who kept lip a constant fire of i^jjftl^ana. catcalls as, an . accompaiunient. Ifeesiffitf Castor meanwhile shouting ami knockord^r which was at last obtained by the subsidence of the orator into his seat, lie was followed promptly by the orator Simmy, who was greeted with cries of "give jt em P. T. (-^.B. — I am informed P.T. means "Principle Tinsmith," although his friends maliciously translate it "Petty Tinker.") The speaker went in heavy on pledges— wanting them to be' redeemed (Great confusion, during which Dear Castor was nominated — some individual put up Simmy; Dear Castor graciously withdrawing in his favor,- but Simmy, with evident 2 emotion, declined the distinguished honor. Several names were put up aud put downfoi nomination ; and Leavey desiring to be left alone, objected in a very neat and pretty little speech, .first requesting Fisher who by this time had. made -thirty or more speeches, to "■■:;,■ allow him the pleasure of delivering one ; having wanned on the subject, v Zeavey '- A warned the Committee on, what they were : ; ; doing, winding up his remarks with a quotation from t\w±Ti?nes which he had learnt off ;; for the occasion. (N.B.— The quotation V must have been from the Commercial fteport) ; ; it was— '; 'i^Whenpresures without ..-., Mind what your abbut." :;;: ■ ■ —(Uproarious cheers.) $&., A'minuteof anamendment requiring a second, .0' aMr I-do-did^ amidst a burst of laughter : 0 and applause'&Tsome continuation. InexpliS; cable confusion now ensued, from the deter- ;■ minatibn of everybody trying to speak so as to be heard; the effect was stupendous ; and fi smoking being strictly- enforced, added greatly to the amusement. , A cry of horror escaping from the chairman, ■ assisted by his double-knock system on the table, frightened •the unruly Greymouthians into a state of par•t tial composure. .Seizing the. minutes, a son of Mrs Gamps's pairticulai friend, the invisible Mrs Harris, offered-aip a few remarks on the liberty v of }'the-,Pre^Y" w^ cu met "^^ furious cheers, and a cry\som " Fish-er-livc-Oi,"to^^Vdowwj.t'4t]mt;ah-gcoje." Our old Victorianifnend, having evidently recovered from the ; effect of : coming from .Victoria, said something whict was. .this time to. the pur T pose, and sat down perfectly .satisfied with r; everything —and;; himself in particular. Bbth; free and ea^y, began now. to sinokethe geuefal pipe of peace." Simmy, Lowe yer, ; rushed to th*e rescue aiid his .boots, uipving : a weak adjournment. A multiuiplicity of i, amendments issued from Messrs Wall-flower, , ■■'; Tailor,' Make^cleaii, Far-lanil, Fish-oh, aud Co ; but, unfortunately, the Co-heh; cackled up to a point" to order, proposing; that the f. amendments be looked upon as so many rot- - ten eggp,' and, of course, couldn't: be -taken : by the chair^ which so convinced Dear Castor; that heat once squashed the lot, -with great • :; -disgust; ; : (Sensation, cheers, c&ck-crowing; v SLoScriss of,; go it, Jerusalem). -The Wall-; •* '?■'. flower^ evidently siad at heart; tried the pair- "' ■ lijiniisntary. dodge of the previous question, " - which so f r^htf ully exasperated the chair, • put it. Foiled again, our Wall-flower stuck 5 like to a brick?' (N;B;-^-.Fisli-idea)* and put jit for a minute adjpurn-' r i:- : v-.^ieait'. ; ThechairnianAvith thisbeijame frantic, with! a wild look, and another cry- of -Jiorror^ was escaping,^from tte chaM:, when thatgoodj kind soul Wicks, catching Dear Gastor!s eye, benignly^ threw a I UghJ therein, ana fixed the chair to ita post, informing the "c^hMrthatheknew of meetings adjourned by a minute(aßide,^^ for refreshments g^eheraDy); d|jw&'f riend the Co-hen, with his feathers on 1 ■i^patl, equally lalaucedfrimia^e^re-hnev up, and cackiedforthyia lecture on poiats'bf order, for the chair's ettoecial benefit, chirpin" 1 f orth aii adjournmenf to t]ie:;day \£ jui|gn|ent. (Cries of, /Wilfyou be alive, ■•

bid cock," and Je-rusalem.) Finding it wouldn't take, the Co-hen suggested "tomorrow and to-morrow" — (>N.B.—Shakespeare)—he would then be able to lay on i. (Great cheering, during which he fluttered down to his roost.) Dear Castor oy this having calmed down, and restoring order by a word, a look, and a knock, suddenly put the adjournments, and discovering the adjournment for a minute carried, made a minute of it ; and, escapiug thankfully from the grand stand at the table, followed by his right and left hand supi o.'ters, the Ear and Press, took to his pipe and, a seat in front amid the cheers, counter-cheers, groans, &c, &c, of the vast decreasing assemblage. Part Secoxd. (One minute is supposed to elapse here.) After sixty seconds of extreme silence, computed by all the watches in the room, with various effect, a chairman with difficulty was secured in the shape of alive M.P.C., and. having occupied the stool of repentance, ' discarded by Dear Castor, winked perceptibiy across to Fiah-oh, and sent .up' a petition for motions, Wicks forestalling Fish-oh, turned himself up and made a brilliant motion for the repurchase of iinredeemed pledges, and having turned himself down became extinguished. Dear Castor here wanted to -know the difference between unredeemed pledges and pledges of affection, when he was wisely reminded by Fish-oh that he wasn't in the chsiir, .and he had an which, after a considerable amusement and Noise, was conveyed up the room and tabled before the admiring eyes of the chair, amid the frantic gesticulations and waving about of the ream of foolscap, supposed to be a petition with nearly two thousand autographs, by the orator Fish-oh. The Co-hen cackled again and tabled an amendment for adjournment, Avhich was pooh-poohed by the chair, amid the greatest noise conceivable, with cockcrowing from ye gods in the gallery. Declining further delay, the experienced chair, smiling on the crowd, commenced taking a show of hands backwards, demanding who was in favor of the Co-hens, secondly for the Eish-ohs, thirdly ami lastly for the Wicks. By rule of three business, the chair ruled that Fish-oh had got it by a majority of one hundred —fingers and thumbs (cheers and counter groans). In consequence of which decisions the chair, with tears in his eyes and looking dark and melancholy, I handed in the hands of the said finger and thumbs his resignation *as an improvement, which was received with sensational tears and cheers and much groaning, during which a vote of thanks to the chair was unanimously carried by murmers of indignation. The chair having done left the stool of repentance and repaired home, followed by the countless multitude, to drown their sorrows in beer. WALKEit.