THE LITERATURE OF THE PANTOMIMES.

Grey River Argus, Issue 57, 24 May 1866, Page 3

THE LITERATURE OF THE PANTOMIMES.

The following humorous lucubrations on "The. Literature of the Pantomimes" have been sent to tho editor of the "Pall Mall Gazette" by "Clown, and Pantaloon:"— ' " . " Sir — As a clown, that has been a many years before ths public, and seen the great Joe.. Grimaldi, whose mantle I wear, though, others have claimed it without a shred of the honorable garment to show, I thank you on behalf of myself and Phil (who has played pantaloon to me for nigh quarter of a sentry) for your just and codgent remarks on the literature of the degenerate pantomimes of the present day. Phil and me, sir, read your harticle t'other night in our dressing-room at the Royal, while he. was waiting to go on for the c6mic business. When I read out the/heading of the harticle. ' ' Litarature of ;the Pantomimes,' Phil says, (Literature they call it, I call it rubbidge.' When Phil, sir, found that that was your opinion too, he was pleased, and so was I. ■ And now, sir, when we have found an editor who knows what's what and has the interest of the pantomimes at heart, we are encouraged to lay the whole of our hard case before him — that is you, sir. Clowns and pantaloons, sir, |have their rights a3 well as other men ; they also have their dooties. But a spirit of innovation — a spirit of innovation, I say, has trampled upon our rights and invaded,; the legetimate spehere of our clooties, which we are alwaysr willing to perform to the utmost. In the palmer days— in those formal times, sir, the principal actors in the pantomime were clown, pantaloon, harlequin, and columbine. Literature — Pliil and me call it ' cackle ' — was not thought of ; it was not wanted, it was our .dooty to tell the stoiy in dumb show, and we told it with our a'tids and eyes, much better than La ever told..' by literature. But modeVn times, sir, is given to literature. Literature is in everything nowadays. Bottles of beer' lias pages of reining among them, a penny box of pills is wrapped up in a pamphlet about the digestive organs, and a screw of tobacco is served with a woodcut and conundrums ; but them I can't say Tve much objection to — not as conundiums 3 mind you. "It's my opinion, and it's Phil's opinion, sir, that where so much literature is required to make things go with the public,, the articles can't be much account. You may depend upon it that when pills require a pamphlet to persuade you to take them they won't do you no good ; and I know by experience that tobacco that's wrapped up in woodcuts and conundrums ain't fit to smoke. And the worst of literature is that it never knows when to stop. There's no moderation about it. It will run on so. Look at^what you arc kind enough to call tho ' Literature of the Pantomimes.' When first introduced it kept itself within bounds and was all over in a quarter of an hour ; but such is the pride and conceit of literature that, o.nce let it get its nose in,, before yoii kno"v7 where you are it's got its whole body in. Literature has encroached upon the legitimate business of the pantomime as the incidjus hocean encroaches upon 'a flat and defenceless oast. Contented at fiist with a quarter of an hour, it has crept on gradually (like a suttle serpent) until it now from a hour to a hour and a half. A hour and a half, sir, of what you call yourself rubbidge and trash ! I feel, sir, us every right-minded person must feel, that life is too short for such trifling. (Phil wants me to put in ' and eternity is too long,' but, though a clever remark, it doesn't seem to me" to bear upon the point). ' The comic business of the pantomime—that is to say, the business of clown, pantaloon, harlequin, and columbine (for we do not understand the literary part comic any more than you do) — is essentially practical. And the practical is the useful. And so anything which interferes Avith the practical, intereferes with the useful, which is bad. There you have it pat. "But the worst has yet to be told. Literature, not content Avith occupying the be3t part of the evening, is attempting to supplant us altogether. Feeling . its OAvn dulness, it calls our legitimate ■"e-cHSifi business to its haid, and makes up for AA r anVoL^oi n t with slap and tumble, spill and pelt^-^e find Avhen we come on, sir, that Aye hav^^j 6^^^^! 3^ 6^' This, sir, is the last andmSS'tr^aiiSgro^ innovasion of all. We became aware of it last season. They Avcre taking a very, long time over the literature one night, when Phil, Avho had long been dressed, AA r ent down to the : Aving to see if they ever Avas going to finish. He was back again like a shot, " 'Bill, 5 he says, Svhat do you think they are a doing' V " ' Don't knoAv,' I says. " 'Why, Joey,' he says. / ' ' " 'I don't believe you,' Isays. " ' Fact,' he says : 'the two loav comedians have got a Avasliing-tub on the stage, and they're a slapping each other in the; face Avith the soap, and knocking each other doAvn Avith the mop..' • " ' The devil,' I says ; and down I ran to the Aving, and true enough there they was Joeying away in style, making the people laugh until the house shook again. " ' Phil,' I says, ' if this sort of tiling is allowed to go on, our ockypation's gone.' " ' Clean as a Avhistle,' he says ; ' Aye must put a. stop to it ; nip it in the bud.' '•We complained to the manager, and asked him to put .down the abuse ; bxit, sir, AA'Ould you believe it, he Avas so lost to Avhat is due to us, so insensible to the younities — Avliich ' as you are aAvare, is everythink — that he declined to interfere. And Avhat has it come to noAV, sir % Why, the other night when I Avent doAvn to the Aving 1 saAV the loav comedian in the opening — in the opening, sir, drinking out of the" slop-pail ■!'. When it comejj to this, sir, one must speak. ' It is taking the bread out of .our mouths. I repeat it, sir, ' drinking out of the slop-pail,' which has been the clown's exclusive privilege from tinie liimmeii\6ryal. Such, sir, is the encroaching ■ifendency of literature. We appeal to yoa for protection, and subscribe, for sejli and Phil,, yoiuv. devoted servants, \ I "?Cloavn an.d Pantaloon."