NEW ZEALAND.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2321, 12 September 1881, Page 3

NEW ZEALAND.

Obß PBESS ASSOCIATION.! AUCKLAND, September 11. Inquest. At the inquest on Thcmas Collarick, telegraphist, who was killed Friday night by the Waikato train, a verdict was returned of accidental death, and that no blame attached to anyone. Collarick had been missing from his homo for two days previously. UnearthedThe skeleton of an adult was accidentally dug up in the rear of the Choral Hall, part of the old Government House grounds. The bones were apparently enclosed in with a piece of tin. Dangerous Pastime. George Sievry was well nigh gored to death by a bullock at Wangaroa. The Governor. The Governor has not arrived. It is believed that the Hinemoa is unable to cross the bar at Manukau, as a strong westerly gale is blowing. JOSH BILLINGS ON OATS. I have studdyed cats clussly for years, and hav found them adikted tew a wild state. They haint got affeoshun nor vartue of onny kind ; tha will skratch their best friends, and won’t ketch mice unless tha are hungry. It haz bin sed that tha are good to make up into sassages ; but this is a grate mistake. I hav been told by a sassage maker tha don’t compare with doge. There is one thing sartin, tha are very anxious tew live. You may turn one inside out, and hang up by the tail, and az soon az you are ought ov sight he will manage to turn a back somerset and cum round awl rite in a fu days. It is very hard work to looze a cat. If one gets carried oph in a bag bi mistake a grate ways into the kuntry, tha won’t sta lost onla a short time, but soon appear tew make the family happy with their presence. Old maids are very fond of oats, for the reason, I suppose, that cats never marry if tha have ever so good a chance. There iz one thing about cats I don’t like; if you step on their tails by acksident tha git mad rite oph, and make a great fuss about it. There is anuthor thing about them which makes them a good investment for poor folks. A pair of oats will yield each year, without any outlay, something like eight hundred per cent. It is a very singular fack that cats don’t like a mill-pond ; I never knu one tew git drowned bi acksidont. Tha luv cream, but it seems to bo again their relidgin tow tetoh soap. Cate and dogs have never been able tew agree on the main question: that both seem tew want the affirmotiff side tow ons. I think if I could have my way, there wouldn’t bo enny more cats born, unless tha could show a certificate ov good moral karakter. There iz one thing more about cats which seems tow me tew bo all affocktashun, and that is making such a devilish noise under a feller’s window o' nights, and tha call it musik. If I was tu hav mi choice between a cat and a striped snake, I would take the snake, bekause I could get rid of the snake by letting him go. There ain’t no sartin way to kill a cat; if you get one worked up into sassage, an’ you think you are all rite, jist as likeli as no tha will cam to and take oS a whole lot of good sassages with them. These are mi views about cats, rather hastily hove together, and if I ain’ sed enuf agin them, it is only because I lack the informashun.