A MAN IN A MILLINERY STORE.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2321, 12 September 1881, Page 3

A MAN IN A MILLINERY STORE.

She had mildly hinted that she didn’t core to go to church again until she had her summer bonnet, but at the mention of bonnet be turned around and belched out—

“Bonnet! ’Nother new bonnet! Why don’t you go down and buy out every infernal bonnet foundry on Woodward avenue and done with it!”

“ I haven’t had but one this spring,” she meekly protested. “ One ! Why, you’ve had forty !” “ Only one, my dear, and I can show you the bill.”

“ Well, that cost forty or fifty dollars.” “ Oh, no. The bill is only nineteen dollars.”

“ Nineteen dollars! Well, that’s an outrageous swindle 1” “It is a very plain bonnet,” she remarked, *• and it was only for spring.” “How muoh will a summer hat cost?’’ he asked after reading down to the end of a column.

“ Well, I’ll try to get along with ten or twelve dollars, bnt you—” “ Ten or twelve demons !” ho yelled as he half rose up. “ I tell you it’s an outrageous swindle, and no one but an idiot would submit 1 They tack the price on because they think you don’t know bran from broomsticks.”

“Then you go down with me and make the purchase.” “ Egad ! I will! I’ll go this very day, and if I don’t buy a better bonnet for four dollars than you have over had for ten dollars I’ll eat shingles.” That afternoon they entered a millinery store in company, and the old gent had the look of a man who was bound to win if it broke a leg. “ My wife wants a bonnet,” he began, and got settled down on a stool. “ Very well. About what price ? ” “ Say from four dollars to six dollars.” " Yes sir. Here is one for four dollars. It is for a kitchen girl on Sixteenth street, and 1 call it an excellent thing for the money.” “I—l guess we don’t want one for four dollars,” ho muttered, as a chill flow up his spine. “ It’s very cheap, I assure you, and the colors are very popular with kitchen girls. But here is one for six dollars.” “Ah ! that is more like it! Now I call that handsome.”

“So it is, sir. That is for a second-girl on Winder street, and she certainly has good taste. It is the cheapest bonnet I have made for a year.” “Yes—ahem—no doubt,” gasped the old gent, as red streaks began to color his neok and chin. “And what’s the price of this one ?” “ That ? That is sold to a barber’s wife for eight dollars, but I could get you up the mate to’it if you want.” “ Barber’s wife—ahem—eight dollars—and this one ?”

“ Well, I made tho price very low on that one, as it is for a seamstress who always buys of me. I only charged her twelve dollars for that.”

“ Seamstress, eh ?” “ Yes. She goes out for seventy-five cants per day, and of course she can't afford any better than this.”

Old Whetstone was as red as a strawberry by this time, and it was only by a tremendous effort of will that he could repress a “ gosh darn it!” “ You wouldn’t care to look at this sixteendollar bonnet, as it is for a mechanic’s wife,” softly remarked the milliner. “No—ahom— perhaps not,” he grunted. “ But this one at twenty-five dollars might possibly do,” sho went on, “ although your wife's position in society would only permit her to wear it for second best. Just wait and I’ll show you something for twenty five dollars which will charm you.” “I won’t! I’ll bo hanged if I wait a minute? ” he exclaimed as he rose up. “I don’t feel very well, and I’vo also agreed to meet a man at the City Hall at three o’clock. Maitha, you go ahead and pick out a bonnet.”

“One for—for—for four dollars,” she whispered. “ Pour be-hanps ! Who said anything about four dollars ? If you can make one for twenty dollars do you, I’d take it ; but if you look bettor in one for twenty-five dollars, you can have it sent up. What I was scolding about this morning was the shape of your bonnet—not the cost. I still hold that the shapes are outrageous; but you’ve got to have one all the same,”

And when he got out-doors and around tho corner, he struck the air with hifl cane and yelled—- “ If a man had played that on me, I’d hunt him to his narrow grave !”