LITERATURE.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2197, 11 March 1881, Page 3

LITERATURE.

WRESTLING FO-: A WIPE. The peculiar conditions upon which a matrimonial affair was based in South Arkansas have just come to light. Dick Anderson had graduated between the plough handles. It was said that he can run a farrow so straight that it would break a knock kneed man’s leg to walk in It. This accomplishment was a kind of frontispiece to a further volume of agricultural success, and more than one young lady in the neighbourhood had her eyes on the young catch. Dick wasn’t bashful, but ho didn’t seem to be particularly impressed with the charms scattered around him like falling drops ol water that linger on leafy trees after rain. But he soon met his fate, a young lady, Winnie Hogrow. Winnie was a beautiful girl, and could cover as much corn with _ a hoe or scrape as much cotton as any man in the neighbourhood. The couple loved—devotedly, agriculturally, Hogrow had raised his daughter with great care, and, now that she had attained the zenith of her usefulness, it grieved him to think of losing her. One Sunday Dick went over, and, going out to where the old man was shelling corn to the pigs, said—- ‘ Mr Hogrow, I suppose— ’ * I don’t suppose anything, sir.’ * Well, then, you doubtless know— ’ 1 1 don’t know anything.’ ‘That’s all right, then. 1 am going to marry your daughter, and by next com planting time you’ll know something. Do you weaken, Mr Hogrow ?’ * See here, young feller, I can’t afford to lose my gal. I have had powerful bad luck this season. The cutworms begun on the corn by the time it come np, and the bugs pitched into the cotton ; and to make things worse, my best mule and one of my cows got into a fight the other day. The cow hooked the mule, and the mule kicked the cow until both died. So under these circumstances, I’d rather you'd marry somebody else.’ * I don’t accept your misfortunes as excuses. I’m going to marry the girl.’ ‘l’ll tell you what I’U do, Dick. I’ll make this arrangement: We’ll wrestle ; and if you throw me the girl’s your’n, If I throw you, she’s mine. If you marry her against my will, I shall pleasantly exterminate yon. If you throw mo and marry her, this farm, together with the gal, is yonr’n. I’ll give three trials, one to-day, one throe weeks from now, and the other in six weeks.”

Dick was compelled to agree, although the old man was recognised as the best wrestler in the country. He had challenged everybody, and had thrown everybody who had accepted. After eating dinner, the old man announced his willingness to take hia first ballot, The contestants, including the girl, went into the yard, the girl took the hats and the men grappled each other. The signal waa given, and Dick went over the old man’s head and ploughed a short farrow in the ground. • Give me my hat,’ he said to the girl. ' Don’t give it up,’ she remarked, handing over hia tile. ‘Go away and practice.’

Dick left, discouraged, but, taking the advice, wrett’ei with the steamboat men and farmers until the next trial came. At the appointed time Dick appeared at Hogrow's residence.

‘ Feel like you can cut your capers putty well ?’ asked the old man. ‘ I think so. I feel that my cause ie just, and with aid of kind Providence I hope to pile yon,’ ‘Providence comes in putty handy at times,’ said the old man, puttieg off his coat, 1 but it’s a hard matter to buck agin an old stager. Get onten your jacket. If I fall the girl and farm is yonr’n. Four hundred acres, and all under fence. Gal weighs 150. Big inducements. ” The two men grappled, and again Dick ploughed up the earth. ‘ Don’t give it up, ’ said the girl. ‘ No,’ said the old man, ‘ for the land’s under fence, and the gal weighs one hundred and fifty—can handle hoe wonderful!’ Dick went away and pondered. It was evident that the old man could throw him every time. To lose the girl was to wreck hia life. An idea struck him. Ho smiled. Ho left the neighborhood, and remained until the time for the third fall was nearly up. On the appointed day ho visited the old man.

‘I have agreed to everything,’ said Dick, ‘and now I ask a favor. Let the final trial take place to-night in the dark. I will meet you here at ten o’clock.’

‘ Any way suits me,’ replied the old man, ‘ I'll meet you anywhere.’ At ten o’clock the old man stood in the yard chuckling. Hi*: combatant climbed the fence and approached. Without changing a word the two men grappled. The struggle was short. The old man went up in the air, came down, and struck the giound with a force that almost took his life. He lay for a moment half unconscious. Dick raised him up and assisted him into the house. ‘ The gal and the farm is your’n,’ said the old man, and the young couple embraced each other. The next day they were married. Shortly after the ceremony was over a large negro man appeared at the door, and attracting Dick’s attention, said :—‘ I wants my ten dollars. I flung the old man hard enough to kill him. ‘ Whar's my money ?’ Dick gave him ten dollars, and turning round received a searching look from the old man.

‘ I’ll explain,’ said the bridegroom, * Realising that I couldn’t throw you, and at the same time realising that my haopiness depended upon this marriage, I resorted to a bit of treachery ’ Here he stopped to buckle his arm around his wife. ‘ I found a big negro that I knew could throw you, and offered him ten dollars, that’s why I wanted the wrestle to take place in the dark. After he had thrown yon, I rushed forward and picked yon np.” When Dick had finished, the old man looked at him for fully five minutes and remarked, *lt was a mighty mean trick ; but the farm and gal are your'n. Four hundred acres under fence, and the gal weighs 150.’ “Arkansas Gazette,”

BODDLE AND PONSON. IJonco listened to a specially queer County Court action. The case ‘ Boddle and Ponaon’ was called, without a response, and the invariable ‘ Call the next case’ would have been heard, when a cracked, harsh voice said, in a much higher key that is customary in the sacred precincts of justice, ‘ Well, why don’t von say so ?' And then a man with his heid a good deal on one side, and a very old hat upon it, with a very shabby long greatcoat, and two umbrellas under his left arm, was seen unceremoniously elbowing his way to the box. A certain fixed stare warned aa usher that the man was deaf, and he hastily indicated, by signs, that he should take his hat off. ‘ Oh! very well,’ said the shabby man loudly, and he thereupon very deliberately placed both his umbrellas, and thou his hat, upon the floor, after which ho was duly sworn. By this time a comfortable, tradesman-like person confronted him, * Are you the plaintiff ?’ said the Registrar. * What V demanded the loud voice. On the question being repeated, he said, still in the same high key and with the same harsh voice : ‘ Yes, of coarse I am ; and so would any man be ’ * What is this five pounds claimed for ?’ laid the Judge. * What does he say ? ’ demanded the plaintiff and on the information being bawled oat, replied : ‘ What is it for P Why for knocking me down in the Tottenham Coart road with a light pony- cart whereby I caught a pleurisy in the side and lost my bearing to that extent that I couldn’t foller my calling which if he had drawed hack ever so little the unfortunate accident which follered soon after wouldn’t have occurred. ’ He had evidently rehearsed all this, for he spoke It straight off, without the slightest punctuation, and at the finish confronted the Judge with a stare which was determined, if not spitefnl. ‘But,’said hi* honor, ‘you must tell me more particularly how it took place. ’ 1 What ?’ cried the deaf plaintiff. The Judge repeated his question. ‘ What does he say P* demanded Mr Boddle, turning abruptly to an official. Again was tho question roared in his ear, and then, with a look expressive of his amazement at his previous statement not having been deemed sufficient, he resumed— * Well, I tell yon, I was going from ’Ampstead road to Tottenham Court road, and it was a very wet night. As I was a crossing over which, there was a gal with oranges just in front of me, and a baked 'tater man close behind, and this party came along in his light pony cart and knocked me down, whereby I caught a pleurisy in my side and lost my hearing to that extent I could not foller my calling which if he had drawed back ever so little the unfortunate accident which followed soon after wouldn’t have occurred.’

‘ Have yon any witnesses ?’ asked the Judge. ‘ What ?’ said Mr Boddle. ‘The Judge says, “Have you any witnesses ?” ’ roared the usher ; ‘ have you anyone here who saw yon knocked down ?’ ‘ No, of course not,’ tartly responded the plaintiff; * I didn’t know I was going to be run over, did I ? so how could I take anybody with me to see it P But, of course, it was all his fault, for he was a-coming along at a dangerous rate in a light pony-cart, and if he had drawed back ever so little the unfortunate accident which follered soon after wouldn’t have occurred.’ No better account could be drawn from the poor fellow, and the defendant was called upon. He told what seemed a very fair story, and was supported by the policeman who was on duty at the spot—the latter proving that he had actually warned the plaintiff against crossing at that moment, but in vain.

The evidence determined the suit, but Mr Boddle had not heard a word of it; he evidently considered that they were going through some necessary forms, but that nothing could prevent the issue of the trial from being in his favour. The judge’s fiat was dead against him, and the defendant asked for costs. His Honor, however, pointed to the squalid conditionof th e plaintiff, and asked if he really wished to insist on them, on which the defendant waived his claim.

• Judgment for the defendant !’ shouted the usher in the plaintiff’s ear. 1 Yes ; well, what then ?’ demanded the latter.

‘Judgment, I say, for the defendant !’ was again bawled. ‘ Very well; when am I to have the money?’ asked Mr Boddle, ’Bless the man 1” exclaimed the usher, hoarse with shouting. ‘Yon have lost! He has got judgment.’

‘ WHAT! !’ almost shrieked the plaintiff, in a tone which capitals and notes of admiration feebly typify ; ‘ what 1 and ain’t I to have nothing for his knocking me down at the top of Tottenham Court road with a light pony-cart whereby ’ • You ought to be much obliged to him,’ said the judge, catching hia eye, ‘ for not asking for costs.’ ‘ ’What does he say ?’ demanded the plaintiff of the usher.

‘ His Honor says yon ought to bo much obliged to the defendant ’ He would have explained why, but with an absolute yell, the plaintiff cried, ‘ Very much obliged to him! What! for knocking me down with a fast pony-cart whereby I canght a pleurisy in my side and lost my hearing to that extent that I couldn’t foller my calling when if he had drawn back ever so little the unfortunate accident which follered soon after ’

‘There!’ said the official, thrusting his papers into his band ; ‘ make room for the next case.’ ‘ Well—well—but ain’t I to have no money V cried the plaintiff, resisting the gentle pressure of the usher; " no money for being knocked Then I say it’s a blessed shame !’

He need a much stronger and commoner adjective than ‘blessed,’ but, whatever ho said, it was roared at the very top of his voice, and then, slamming his hat on to his head, and hitching hia battered umbrellas well under his arm, he left the Court amid the uncontrollable laughter of almost every loul in it.