MR SNOOKS AND THE PEDLAR.

Globe, Volume XXIII, Issue 2180, 19 February 1881, Page 3

MR SNOOKS AND THE PEDLAR.

Mr Snooks was just about to take tea In the bosom of his family, when he glanced through the window and saw a pedlar coming up the front garden. Now it happened that Snookes’ wife, having inherited a large fortune, her amiable hnsbsnd bad serions thoughts of selling their furniture and of setting up in grand style. Therefore, when the pedlar approached, a fearful frown gathered on Snookes’brow as he exclaimed "‘l’ll work him,” and work him ho did ; for no sooner did the unfortunate pedlar knock at the door than Snookes opened it with a rush and let out something after this style—- * Good day, sir; is there anything I can offer you in the fnrnltnre line, sir ? Oarpets, chairs, tables j or a sofa with three legs, or two yards of stone piping, or a gingham umbrella of t e latest design ; or a pianoforte, or a harmonium, or two bars of soap, or half a pound of lamp-black, or the kitchen dresser ; or eight feather beds, or twenty dozen pairs of blankets, or my wife’s patterns, or a tin whistle, or a screw driver, or any other little trifle?’ roared Snookes, working himself into a tremendous passion. Pausing for a moment in h : s inventory Mr Snookes discovered that the pedlar had fled. It was too much for him ;he hadn’t been able to pnt In a word. Never in tho coarse of his whole experience had such a thing happened to him before. To ap proach a house and not be able to ntter a word to recommend his goods was too much for his fee'ings He dashed into tho street, flung his hat on the paving stones, and jumped on it; danced, kicked, yelled, and screamed, and finally challenged the whole of the male inhabitants of the street to enter into mortal combat with him there and then, for ‘he didn’t care a button for any or all of them ’ When darkness threw her velvet pall over the scene, ho wa< seen slowly pacing down tho street. From the drift of his remarks, it was evident that he was quoting largely from the ‘Lamentations of Jeremiah,’