LEARNING TO SWIM.

Globe, Volume XXII, Issue 2095, 10 November 1880, Page 2

LEARNING TO SWIM.

" That's a fact," said Mr Hopkins as he laid down his paper the other evening, " every man, woman, and child in the country ought to know how to swim. No one can tell what minute he will be upset, blown up, or knocked overboard. Amanda, I'm going to learn you how to swim." "Learn me?" queried the wife as she paused in her sewing. " Yes, you. Your life is very precious to me, and I don't want you to lose it because you can't swim ashore when an accident takes plaoe. I can swim like a duck myself, and I feel guilty to think we've been married twenty-one years and yet you'd go to the bottom like a stone if you fell overboard." " Why, I never had the least fear," she replied. *' There is always some hero around to rescue a lady." "No one wants to deperd on heroes. Of course I'd jump into the water to save a lady, but there are lots of men who wouldn't. Stand up, Amanda, and let me give you the motions of swimming. Now then, put your hands so, push them forward so, take a sweep and bring them back so. See how easy it is done ? You musn't forget to kick every time you move your arms." She went through the motions several times, but so awkwardly that he called out—- " That isn't the way! The motions ought to be perfectly natural. New imagine that you are out on an excursion." "Yes." " You lean over the rail to view some floating object." " Yes."

"You suddenly grow dizzy and tumble headlong into the river. Now what motions would ysu make as you rose to the surface ? What would you do ? " Well, if a hero jumped in after me I'd loan my head on his shoulder like this and l6fc him put his right arm arourd my waist and support me until help arrived." " Hero be-hanged! A hero would look nice holding up 190 pounds, wouldn'the ?" ' He'd look as nice as you would ! I don't believe you could keep your head above water to save your life." " I couldn't, eh ! Then I won't learn you a single stroke about swimming." " you needn't!" " And if any man ever jumps overboard and rescues you I'll punch his head !" " And if you ever jump in after anybody I. know I'll hare to pay their funeral expenses out of my share of this property !" " Very well," said Mr Hopkins as he put on his coat, " I see I am not wanted in my own house. If I am not home to-night it won't do you any good to telephone me at the office, for I ehall have the wire grounded "