AN INFALLIBLE SIGN.

Globe, Volume XXII, Issue 2008, 31 July 1880, Page 2

AN INFALLIBLE SIGN.

The other morning at the Central Station Court a prisoner charged with drunkenness made such earnest denials that his Honor deemed it his duty to closely cross-examine the officer in the case. “ How do you know that the prisoner was drunk ?’’ he asked. “ Well, he was trying to balance himself on a picket fence while he made a speech,” was the reply. “ Hasn’t a citizen a right to stand on a picket fence if he prefers?” queried the prisoner. “ I always make my speeches from the top of a fence—always.” “ Any other signs p” asked the court. “He spoke about its being the glorious Fourth, your Honor.” “ Sposen I did ? Can’t a man be a few days oS in his reckoning without being drunk? I can’t lug an almanac around in my pocket just to keep the run of dates. I presume I said the glorious twenty-fourth, but he maliciously misunderstood mo.” “ What else ?” “ When I went to collar him he said he was the great American eagle.” “ What if I did ?” retorted the man. “ VVe are all great American eagles for that matter. Is it against any law of this land of liberty to be an American eagle?” His Honor hesitated, but finally asked the officer for any further sign. “ Well, when I got him collared he said he wanted me to distinctly understand that ho was a gentleman—a perfect gentleman—just as much of a gentleman os any gentleman in town.” “ I can no longer doubt that he was drunk, and he is lined five dollars,” promptly remarked the Court, and the guilty man was ordered to fall back and make room for the next.