TOO HOT FOR JOE.

Globe, Volume XXII, Issue 1854, 31 January 1880, Page 2

TOO HOT FOR JOE.

THE CAPTAIN’B DAUGHTER TAKES A VAPOR BATH— A PINAFORE TALK. | “ Portland (Oregon) Telegram."] The Pinafore was to sail under pilot Maguire on a certain evening, when alas, on Saturday night the beautions Mies Andrews —we should say Miss Corcoran—discovered that she had a cold, and she was sad, Ho wonder 1 How would it do for her to sing on Monday night in this style—“Befraid, audacious stsr, your suit frob pteasidg, Eebeb-r who you are, ad who addreesidg.’ And to sigh, “ Oh, by heart Iby heart! This unwarranted presubtiod on the part of a cobbod sailor!" Oh, it would never do. Many remedies were suggested flannel around the neck, for instance—but Josephine asserted that flannel around the neck wasn't becoming to her, unless it happened to be the sleeve of a sailor’s jacket, with Ralph Backstraw’a arm in it. Finally a lady recommended a vapor bath. “ A splendid thing,,, said she. “ I often take them, and so do my sisters and my cousins and ny cousins and my grandfather.” “ My husband is a doctor, and I can give you a vapor bath as well as anybody. Come to my room. Never shall it be said that a friend of mine suffered for want of vapor while I owned a can of kerosene.” They reached the room in safety. “ Now, Josephine,” said her friend, “ yon must furl all your sails, wrap yourself in a blanket, and come to anchor in a canebottomed chair." “ Why must it be a cane-bottomed chair ? ” asked Josephine. “ Never mind the why and wherefore,” replied her friend, “ I doctor am, and therefore yr.u must do just as I say. Unng,[my dearest, right away” Imagine the scene ! In five minutes Mira And — Corcoran was undressed, wrapped in a blanket and seated in a cane-bottomed chair, beneath which her friend put a lighted camphine lamp turned up to its brightest heat.

“ Now," she said, “ the heat will soon permeate your individuality, so to speak, and produce a perspiration or natural vapor, aa it were, in which your cold will vanish.” The lamp burned brightly ; Josephine felt its flames ; she moved uneasily in her chair. “ Good gracious I " she cried, “ I can’t understand it either. How in the name of common sense is sitting over this lamp to—•” Her friend interrupted her with : 11 Never mind the why and wherefore—vapor cures a cold, and therefore. Though the campbine heat is mighty, though stupendous be the pain, Though your covering is slightly—yon perspire not in vain I Let the air with smoke ba laden ; smother every painful sigh, Monday night you'll look so charming, let the kerosene burn high.” The kerosene burned high, and Josephine wriggled. "Oh I" she exclaimed; “If Sir Joseph conld see me now, what would he say f” “ Never mind,” answered her friend, “Is the perspiration coming 1 ” “ Perspiration I " shouted Josephine. “ Oh, heavens I ” And then she relieved her feelings with—- *• Sorry her lot who feels too hot, Heavy her heart who hopes so vainly To cnre a cold, and only cures herself, By sitting on a cane seat chair insanely"— I can’t stand it, £ can’t, I won't—- “ The heat grows on apace I know I’m baking, baking—” The chimney of the lamp cracked with & loud report. Josephine jumped up screaming, the blanket was smoking, the canebottomed chair was scorched, the friend added her screams to the discord, and the doctor, her husband, came rushing up to see what was the matter. Let us draw another blanket over the scene. The principles of a vapor bath were explained, and Josephine was put on the windowsill to cool. * • * * Miss Andrews looks quite well now, and takes her three meals regularly. But she said htr prayers standing last Sunday.