CANDIDATES CONCERTS.

Globe, Volume XXI, Issue 1724, 29 August 1879, Page 2

CANDIDATES CONCERTS.

He is a fnniona General indeed. For none so well can make a people bleed. The perfection to which everything is being brought, or attempted to be brought, at the present time, has extended even to the candidates political, who are endeavoring to throw a sort of professional pomp over their itinerant arrangements. The following advertisement inserted just before the 10th proximo in one of the morning papers, will give the reader some idea of the high and artistical position which one candate at least has aspired to : " Evening Employment.—A. musical professor, who has conducted for many years the classical quartette orations on board the * Anymore'' packet, finds his evenings at present disengaged. |He is therefore desirous of making an arrangement with a number of brother professors, for the purpose of giving a brief series of evening entertainments during the ensuing recess. The professor, being a oornet-a-piston, would like to meet with one or two gentlemanly trombones, or a mild and unassuming ophycleide. Being very desirous of avoiding those professional jealousies which are so injurious to his own performance, he would have no objection to treat with another cornet in a spirit of mutual confidence. An obliging drum of unobtrusive habits would be received on a Liberal footing. No serpent need apply. N.B. —There is an opening for a quietly disposed piccolo." The result of this advertisement would, no doubt, be the formation of a select band, and the following programme agreed upon:— Candidates Concerts. The Nobility, Gentry, Housemaids, Cooks, " British Beasts lost to all reason," and Nurserymaids In general, are most respectfully informed that the above Entertainments will commence for the season immediately. The Band

Will be on the scale of former years, and will comprise a Chorus of 1000 model Families, led by Te Whiti. The Instrumental Department will also comprise Artists who, in their peculiar walk (about the streets) are acknowledged to be unrivalled. It will consist of a real Trombone, of highly-polished brass, which, sliding to

the length of eight pages, completely realises the idea of 'Linked falsehoods long drawn out.' the Cornet-a- piston, with all the additional keys fitted to the music of the future, and a highly-polished Piccolo, warranted to ieach a higher note than the highest note of the " honorarium " —the latest musical invention. In the course of tbe evening the following pieces will be given. The Band being desirous of getting rid of old scores, have had new scores made of the music mentioned in the ensuing programme. ' Pot pourrL' commencing with ' I Dream'fc that I Dwelt in Wooden Halls,' breaking down just before the shake, and terminating with the coda of ' Still so gently o'er me stealing—De Gray. Grand Duet from Norma, the very high, notes being supplied by whistling, supported by a strong thorough-bass of the Trombone, manufactured in Gloucester street —Black Brigade. Sims Reeves' Own Polka (for first time in this country), as hummed to Sims by a native of Bohemia, and >r ranged by him for a Cornet. Two pair of Watertights to do the national stamping ascompaniment, and a "Star" Piccolo expressly for the occasion. N.B. —None 'genuine without the stamp of S.R,'s own watertight, to forge which is felony. The "Sunnyside Quadrille, "and "Kawan Gallop;" leaving to a general rash to that beautiful island for refreshments. Introduction of ohorus of 1000 model families gathering seed for future operations. N.B.—This piece will be performed In the absence of the police, so that it will probably be repeated several times. The whole to conclude with the celebrated Stump oration on the working man, by Sir G—e G—y, as delivered by him for upwards of twenty years before all the crowned heads of South Africa and New Zealand, without any variation, and for whioh he has received the following TESTIMONIALS. " Christchurch, 25th August, 1879. "Sir, —My son, Augustus, would run into debt, wear long hair, and stop out late atnieht. I was confident there was something on his mind, so I took [him to your entertainment. The change was instantaneous. In less than a hour he £had cut off his hair, and is now an ornament to his family, and goes to bed every night at eight. I attribute this all to the moral Influence of your invaluable discourse. I intend to enre my wife of hysterics in the same way, so pleaoe come and give us some more. "Yours, with gratitude, "One or thk Black Brigade." " Gloucester street. " Sir, —I was an old man, but I went to your admirable entertainment on Saturday last, and now I feel as if I had the strengthof Milo, with the sprightliness of a Faun. Thanks to you I am enabled to marry again, to-morrow. Come and give me away. Heaven bless you. " Yours. " One of tee British Beasts."