GIVING HER CENSUS.

Globe, Volume IX, Issue 1303, 23 May 1878, Page 3

GIVING HER CENSUS.

Vf hen the census taker rapped at the door of a certain cottage on Crawford street the other day and wondered if the woman would set the dog on him or douse him with dishwater, a great disappointment awaited him. She opened the door softly, snuffed the air to see if he smelled ci lightning rods, and then threw it open for hira to enter. 'Madam, I am making a canvass of the oity,' he began. ' Ah! Sit down,' she replied, and as he began opening his book she contimied--*- ' There are five of us in the family, and we paid lOOdol. down on thu place. My husband's name is Peter, Ida age ia forty-two, and he came from n mean family. His father was always having lawsuits about dogs, and his mother was the greatest gossip in Elmira. Have you got that down ?' He grunted assent, and she continued—'My name is Alvira Sarah, and I w r as born in .' ' I do not care to know where you]was born, madam,' he interrupted. ' Well, I care !' she exclaimed ; ' it makes a gi'eat deal of difference whether f was born in Africa or Boston, and I want it put dowr. As I wa? saying, I wa3 born in Boston in IS3B. Put down, that I came of a good family/ "Mitdam, you don't understand —you .' ' Don't I understand that I came of a good family ? I'd like to know of a Boston family which carried their noses higher than th« Rogerses ! Put down that my father was in the Mexican war.' ' You have three children, madam ?' ' I haven't any such thing, sir ! Put down that my mother was killed by an explosion in a quarry. Her and father were .' ' How many children have you, madam ?' ' Have you got mother down?'

' 'No, madam. Sou see, lam taking the census of the city. 'Well,' she said, giving him a dangerous look, ' I had the typhoid fever at the age of fifteen, and for weeks and weeks I hung on the edge of the grave. I bore up as well as I was able, and .' ' Five in the family—how many children ?' He suddenly asked. ' Put down that I bore up !' she commanded. ' And that one night when the watches were asleep I crept out of bed and took a drink of .' ' This is foreign to the subject, madtm. How old are your children ?' ' Haven't you put down that I hung on the edge of the grave ?' ' No, madam.' ' Aren't you going to ?' ' No, madam. You see, lam simply taking the census of Detroit. I desire to ascertain > 'You can't ascertain it here, sir!' she snapped. 'lf my sickness, which cost over 200d01., isn't good enough to go in the book then you don't get a line here !' ' Let me ask you .' _ 'No use asking for any of our photographs, sir ! If you get 'em anywhere and put our pictures in that book we'll make it hot for you! Good day, sir—good day !' He stood on the step, sighing, and she called through the door. 'My grandfather was also bitten to death by an alligator, but I wont't give you any of the particulars ! You want to walk !' He passed on, sorrowfully wondering if the next woman's mother was blown off a bridge or carried down the river on a haystack.