THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

Globe, Volume IX, Issue 1303, 23 May 1878, Page 3

THE LOAFER IN THE STREET.

[V-UO'Sl THE VBES3.J I'm not a regular peruser of the " Te Wananga." It is written mainly in the sonorous language of our Maori brother. On this account I prefer other journals. I find it preferable to understand what I read as a rule, though this is not always possible with papers written in the English language. The " Te Wananga " had recently a leader entitled "Things that Were." The writer informs his readers that in 1835 the only three monicd men in New Zealand opened a Bank, and. subsequently, bolted with the deposits of their clients. About the sinne lime ihe first paper was started, called the "Bay of Island* Obs«rrer." The " Observer " did not ob*crv« long. In point of fact, it is burst up. These circumstance' seem to have created quite a sensation in 1835. Now such an event as a man Hying to other climes to conceal the emotion he experiences from having a lot of other people's money in his pocket is so common that it's hardly worth a four line local. Similarly with papers. They rise and bust and rise again. |Let them bust." " We have to acknowledge the receipt of 20s towards the fund for Canaan from Mr H. Lewis, of Te Awamutu, Waikato." This Sphynx-like local appears in a Northern paper. It ha* much exercised my mind has this subscription. Perhaps Mr Lewis is ;; convert to Mr Bees' hypothesis of the identity of the Maori race with the' lost tribes of Israel. The Premier has been profuse in his promises lately of land to his Maori friends. Can it be that "Canaan "is a portion of this "promised land," and that the one pound donation is a subscription towards supplying the creature comforts which have for go many years been indispensable to. the Maori race ? A little story reaches me from the West Coast. In the earlier days of Hokitika a barber's shop stood opposite the B.M. Court. One day a citizen named Boseoe was being shaved. Contemporaneously with this operation the Bcsidcnt Magistrate over the way was trying a ease of larceny. A knotty law point arose, and lie directed the constable in attendance—\,'honatur Uy was of Ilibeynian extraction—to fetch him ,l Boseoe on Evidence." The policeman going to the outer door proceeded to call " Boseoe" in the orthodox manner. A bystander informed him Boseoe had just gone into the barber's shop. Thither the'constable hasted and_ found his man seated in the tonsorial chair, his face well lathered. On being told that his presence was required by the 8.M., Jtoscce demurred, but the policeman, who was a man of action, ran him into the Cu,,yt, sir.ring cloth and all, with Hie remark, "Here's Kosovo, your Worship." Tableau. " Poker.—Directions wanted for playing the game of poker." —F.M S.S. The above appears in the advertising columns of the last number of the English

" Queen." I quote it in case the advertiser should not as yet have obtained the information he seeks. There are so many friends of mine who could, and would if they had the chance, gladly teach him this interesting and beautiful game. It was in this city, I believe, that a lucky man picked up four aces, and when he had raised his opponent to the extent of all his worldly possessions, knocked his bank manager out of bed to get an advance on what was really the best of security. If F.M.S.S. wants to know about the soul-inspiring game of poker, he can learn to play it here in a first-class style, but not for nothing. It may cost a trifle. I have frequently known this to be the case. A northern contemporary, in speaking of the formation of a certain railway, says, " Wo should like to see the matter taken up agair., either by the Chamber of Oommerco or a public meeting, or both, and at as early a date as possible, as the next Parliamentary session is fast" approaching, and it is well that the matter should come before the .Assembly in a manured shape." The italics are mine, but I quite agree with the writer, even if the word be a misprint. Any railways to be constructed in the present state of our finance will need a lot of forcing in the House. A very interesting telegram from the Auckland correspondent of the " Lyttelton Times" was recently published by that journal, in reference to letters received from the Eev. Gh Browne, of the Wesleyan Mission of New Britain, Now Ireland, &c. The reverend gentleman reports that great progress is being made in civilising the wild tribes in these and the adjacent islands. When ho went there first in 18Y5 he says nil the men and women went perfectly nude ; now many largo sections of people would feel ashamed to be seen unclad. I wondar if the Rev. Q-. B. means to bo satirical, or whether he has been so long among the Now British savages of the South Pacific that he is unacquainted with the fact that their civilised congeners elsewhere show their progress in civilisation by adopting the habits the savages are discarding. In 1878 there are "many large sections of civilised people who on festive occasions would feel ashamed to bo seen otherwise than unclad." You can bet on this. If you doubt mo you have only to go to a civilised ball. A man named Fergus Cleary, says a contemporary, a bootmaker, was struck tlio other evening during an altercation with a hammer on the forehead by a man named Shannahan. He is now suffering from brain fever, and lies in a dangerous state. His depositions as to the nature of the quarrel were taken by a magistrate. There are a variety of deductions to bo got from the above. Of these, two rise prominently before the reader. One, that local writers should be, however regardless of truth, a little observant of grammar ; tho other, to avoid altercations with a hammer. From the time of Sisera downwai'ds the most high-toned historians all agree that hammering a fellow-man, and probably a free elector, is a mistake. They also tell us that being hammered is a still greater error. In the obituary column of the " Commercial Advertiser" appears the following notice : Kawao—At Palama, near Honolulu, April 11th, Mrs Kawao, the mother of the late Mrs James Austin, aged 85, leaving three grand-children and seven great-grand-children to revere her memory. She was noted, throughout her long life, as an humble but sincere and consistent Christian —a truly good Hawaiian woman. I should rather judge she was. The township of Balclutha possesses a most energetic oflicer in the person of the inspector of nuisances, as the following paragraph will show : —" While investigating the scene of the fire on Sunday morning, the inspector of nuisances, Balclutha, met with a singular accident. He had taken up a bottle of porter, and while looking at it, previous to removing the nuisance, it exploded in his hands. One of tho pieces struck him on the lower lip, causing an ugly cut." It seems a curious circumstance that the bottle should have struck the gentleman on tho lip. It rather leads one to suppose he was endeavouring to dispose of the contents in the most effectual manner. I can only say that if porter is to be regarded as a nuisance, I am quite prepared to take the position of an inspector at a very low salary, and remove it at the shortest notice.

In one of my brilliantly sparkling paragraphs, I stated some time ago that we had nothing in the shape of a Benevolent Asylum here. I apologise meekly for that statement. I learn from a recent report in your columns that we have an institution of this kind—an institution which is well managed so far as the very limited means at the disposal of the master will allow, hut which is small, ruinous, and badly ventilated. An institution which is fourteen miles distant from the nearest doctor, which is visited about casually once in two years by a minister, and which i 3 eminently unadapted in every respect for what it is supposed to be. Mr March excepted, it never seems to have occurred to any one that we required such an asylum here, which fact rather induces a doubt of the reliability of your correspondent's statement that "no advocacy is needed on behalf of the charity if the necessity of its maintenance be once conceded." He also observes that Christchurch once had a namo for the excellence of its charitable institutions. If it ever had it resembled many dear friends of mine who know as much about charity as you do about making molasses, in education, ugly dogs, fifth-class piety, presentations, and overtime, we are ahead of most places, but wo can stand a bit of improvement in charity