JONES’S MISTAKE.

Globe, Volume III, Issue 200, 29 January 1875, Page 3

JONES’S MISTAKE.

Jones, whose residence is at Westport, resolved to spend the Christmas holidays with his maiden aunt, who lives in Brookstreet Valley. Accordingly he arrived in town on Tuesday last, and immediately repaired to the habitation of his aunt. She prides herself on the quality of her homemade cherry and gooseberry wines, but in other respects she is a good, pious, old lady. She has a very decent share of cash, and Jones, being her only surviving relative, naturally looks forward with some degree of interest to her demise. The old lady has been in the habit of making a good deal of Jones. She has always—or, perhaps, we should say, had always up to the time of which we write—namely, Boxing Day—referred to Jones as a man whose sense, &c, were very far above the average run of senses, &c. On Boxing Day, however, she changed her opinion. On that day she called Jones aside, and told him she wanted him to give a candid opinion with regard to the quality of some cherry wine she had made last year, and which she was going tp usefor thefirsttimeonthisoccasion. She said,. “ Now, Augustus, you are the first person who has tasted this wine, and I want you to

and handed it to Jones, who, to please the old lady, took a big gulp of it. He didn’t get it all down, however. By far the greater portion 'of it went over the tablecloth. Jones’s aunt looked surprised, and Jones excused himself by saying rather hurriedly that he was troubled with a very bad tooth ache; and that the wine, being extremely high-flavoured, had got into his bad tooth, and caused him great pain. He declared that the wine was the best of the sort he had ever tasted, and that for flavor it was unique. So it was. His aunt forgave him for making the mess when he paid her “ home-brewed” this compliment, for she considered she knew a thing or two respecting the manufacture of cherry wine. She pressed him to take more, but he would not, because, he said, his tooth would not permit him, but he would be glad if she would give him a couple of bottles or so of it, in order that he might give his friends in Westport a real treat. She gladly consented to do this, and, being highly flattered with her nephew’s compliment, she determined to try a little herself. She filled a wine-glass with the decoction and swallowed it. That was enough. She cast one reproachful glance at Jones, and the next moment that young gentleman heard her retching outside in the most violent manner. After a while she came in, and gave Jones a lecture which he declares he will not forget for some time. She abused him for about half-an-hour, and then ordered him to leave her house and never more presume to re-enter it. Poor Jones, he knew the cause too well! The old lady had accidentally sweetened her wine with salt instead of sugar, and he was afraid to say anything for fear of offending her. She has now altered her will and Jones is unhappy—no, he is not unhappy—he is mad. He says that if that confounded wine had not come up he would now be in a different position ; but who can tell what a day may bring forth ? Here is a young man who, even until Saturday last, considered himself the possessor of several thousands, but who is now a poor beggared outcast, compelled to eke out a miserable existence on £3OO a-year, and all because five or six pounds of salt were emptied into a tub full of cherry wine.