JOTTINGS BY 'CRINGLE.'

Globe, Volume I, Issue 77, 29 August 1874, Page 2

JOTTINGS BY 'CRINGLE.'

[Written for the Globe.'] “ ’Tis my opinion, sir, that it would pay you better to mind your own business,” said a very polite gentleman to me the other day in reply to a passing inquiry as to“ whether it was true. &c.” “ Pardon me,” I replied, in my blandest tones,” the business for which I am paid, is to mind other people’s, and to express my opinion thereon ; ” and though unable in that instance to obtain reliable information about a certain little affair, I shall, sir, with your permission, give you a jotting or two on what has been subject matter between ray friends .and myself .for the last few weeks. “ Dear Mr Cringle,” said Mrs D. to me a few days ago, “you should be able to explain this to me. I was up at Rangiora the other evening, and could not really help hanging on the utterances of one of the speakers—a gentleman of high social position—as he spoke so nicely about our much-abused sex ; but next morning I found how different the report appeared in a daily paper to what he actually said.” “Ah ! madam,” replied I, “ the gentleman no doubt thought better of it ‘ afterwards ; ’ and you would hardly believe the advantages that follow in the wake of proprietorship. Your speeches can be doctored as you like ; and after it has been whispered at your instance that there will not be the slightest ceremony at the opening of that portion of the line between Euroa and Strath Bogie—you, of course, knowing all the time that a little spread is to be given in honor of the event, and that you are to be present in your ‘ high social ’ capacity—can take little notes for the benefit of the concern, to the exclusion of all your vile contemporaries. Yes, my dear lady, next to being Superintendent, give me a good proprietary interest, added to a high social position,”

At the rate of 260 per cent per annum! “ And sheap at that my dears conshidering the rishk I runs.” An immense risk certainly to run with a man in business, having always sufficient to hook on to, even though the interest on the loan of £6 6s had amounted in considerably less ,'than a generation, to £32. And another bright feature was, that the payments made were only acknowledged as on account of interest and not in any way redeeming the principal. That other little matter too, was not so bad either—a loan of £lB to amount by the “ simple ’’ addition of interest to £72 ! Where, oh where, were the members of the Fourth Estate that morning, by whose means the favored citizens of Gotham might have known where to find the beneficent Mr Moses Hawk who runs such risks for so small a consideration 1 After that, an attempted suicide, and little wonder. “You’re all tea and sugar, sir,” said a gallant councillor to another on one occasion, and Cringle hard by, who is gifted with the faculty of reading unuttered thoughts, noted the. impress as follows “ You talk about the expense you have been to in the matter of that kind of pavement! don’t you know very well that when your portion was done, you bothered the poor contractor , to take it nearly all out in ‘ tea and sugar.’ And when that worker in wood sold you some stuff, didn’t you endeavor to persuade him to take the greater portion of the payment in ‘tea and sugar,’; and didn’t you add that in your position you would be able to put many things in his way 1 And isn’t it generally known, sir, that all the employees, from the laboring man upwards, are touted by you to invest in ‘ tea and sugar,’—the [influential position invariably accompanying the request for an order.” “That’s what you call occupying an independent position, is it ? Ugh ! Again, I say, sir, ‘ you’re all tea and sugar.’ ” By a very sudden transition—permissible only to scrap writers I am naturally brought to our own municipal affairs, atfd in view of the coming election, I regret exceedingly to hear that Cr Lane is not going to offer himself for re-election. This is the more to be deplored, for if all we hear be true, the citizens can ill afford to lose from the municipal table one whose practical mind enabled him to ask questions that were at least intelligible, and to the purpose, and whose suggestions were always acceptable. And, by the bye, this 'reminds me It is whispered that a profound'member of that body has lately erected a palatial residence “ by the sad sea waves,” out of which, cpsiness he does not intend to stir - at, nighttime, and is only waiting completion to resign his civic position. Busy rumor also fixes six weeks hence as the exact time, the housewarming will take place, which will immediately be followed by another election. Now, wouldn’t it be more consistent with tie “religious scruples” of thatfgentleman,,so often and so prominently advanced, if he were to act candidly with the ratepayers—resign at once l —permit his successorfo pe chosen at the coming election—and/ thus save the citizens a lot of money?, . , o; rn I suppose every one looks as anxiously, for his morning’s paper as I do; but I.wonder whether the feelings of the majority iot readers were similar to mine when, on.teceiviug my paper last Saturday, and looking eagerly for Assembly telegrams—and perhaps an extract from the Wellington papers of some of the speeches on the all-important questions lately discussed in the House—l found instead, five' columns of a poultry exhibition, in which I was. told that the number of feathers in Mrs Brown’s bantam’s tail was correct, though they were rather straight; that Mrs Jones’: hen had a proper carriage, but her hackles were hardly colored enough ; while on the contrary, the color of the hackles of Mrs Smith’s duckwing, predominated. I also learnt that Mrs Gamp’s brown-breasted hen had hardly a sufficiency of gingery mixture to be the correct ton, and “ therefore, notwithstanding that the Hall is in a 7 4 bye-street, the public ought to extepd their patronage 1 ” Fancy .this important news occupying nearly five columns of one’s morning paper, at a time when the debate on the Abolition of the Provinces would be eagerly read. It would be exercising a charity to numerous readers if it w6fe an instruction to all ardorous aspirants for farmyard fame to restrain their exuberance, and confine preliminaries to a few pertinent remarks, followed simplyffiy results. Such a course would, in my opinion, insure their being read, and answer every purpose. - - “And this is what is called aristocratic Christchurch I ” said a friend and visitor from a sister colony to me the other night in the dress circle of the theatre, at the same time pointing to a gentleman (?) who was standing up in front of a seat with his hat on. “ Oh, yes,” I was compelled in bonhsty to reply, “ that is nothing, I.Rave often v eeen persons who would feel aggrieved if you, did not call them gentlemen, standing'with their hats on while the performance was going on, and ladies at the same time occupying seats at the. back of them. During the opera season, too, you would fancy from fhe habiliments of half the people in the circlethat they had just come from a ploughing match ; but you see, old fellow, we have this advantage over ordinary people —we can afford to be ignorant even of the common forms of politeness, for everyone knows we are aristocratic Christchurch.” I really experienced genuine delight when I read that the salaries of teachers are in future to be paid monthly. How much better we manage these things now-a-days, for which all the committees are to be commended. I remember a long time ago, ever so long, hearing of a poor lady, the widow of a medical man, who was teaching for nearly twelve months, under a school committee ; who showed an aptitude for the work, and the management of whose school was spoken of as something to be emulated. Well, this poor lady fell into a decline, and became weaker day by day, still attending to her duties, and buoying herself up with the hope that she would be able to recruit at the Christmas holidays, and perhaps recover her health. The holidays arrived in due course, but her quarter s salary, then seven weeks overdue, did not ; and her pecuniary circumstances would not admit of her leaving home. She was persuaded by her friends, again and again, to go into the country while she had the opportunity, but would not ; and they, little knowing the real cause, expressed this action as “perverse obstinacy.” At last, one of them put a direct question, and received a candid answer, and by the agency of some friends she was enabled to spend one week in the country, and while there received her long-overdue salary. At the expiration of the week, she returned to town with the hope she would be able to resume her duties, when a kind medical man, who saw her,

insisted upon her giving up teaching at once, if she had any desire to remain longer in the land of the living. This she did, and, was growled at by the committee for not giving the necessary notice. How did aba .fgletbn aftef that ? ” “ Well, 1111 teU. you : she got a few music pupils, but her fingers were so weak that she couldn’t strike thq keys of the piano hard enough, and was obliged to sit' by hern pupils and tell .them by- name the notes they. were to play.” , <f Didn’t her fellow-teachers do anything for her?” Certainly they did, they spoke about it at-their society'.meeting, and. framed a resolution to wait on "the 1 powers,’ asking that all teachers might derive the same advantage as civil servants ; the principal -object in yiew being to meet the, .particular case referred to ; but the most charitable and redeeming feature was, that at the interview they simply asked that ‘ schoolmasters ’ ■ might receive that benefit, .leaving, thh ’mistresses, and‘the ‘particular case 4 out ixji the cold.” “ Well, what became of the poof lady ? ” “ She’s not qfeite dead yet,” How^ ever, they manage these things better now-a-days ; for whoj knows if this good creature had, by the receipt of her quarter’s salary, been placed in the position to have spent he* month’s holidays in the country, instead of a week, and aiddd by those comforts that d little money can give, what the result might inot/have ; been to her health, cj 'l ,Jji x ; Were they diamonds, or were they glass,; oryfUS'itVthe pot, calling ith’a kettle!black ? I’ll think of it.