IS MARRIAGE A FAILURE?

Gisborne Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2095, 3 June 1907, Page 3

IS MARRIAGE A FAILURE?

A AYOAIAN’S COUNTER-AY AIL.

MAN’S INHUAIANITY TO AVOAIAN

There are two sides to every question. “Anti-Alarriagc” gave us one side on Friday last. Following is tho other side as seen by a correspondent writing under the nom do plume “Buscol” :

“Anti-Alarriage” certainly is right in one statement lie has made in “Is

Marriage a Failure?” viz., “it seems that the position is worth discussing.” So I think, . particularly as he has taken such a one-sided view of the case in pourtrayiug all that “man”—-poor martyr, that ho always poses as—sacrifices in the taking unto himself a wife. Not being married myself I have not the ripe experience of “Anti-Alarriage,!’ but I have lived in this world of success and failure and used my powers of observation assiduously, so I think I, too, may say I have a fair knowledge of the subject, and with pleasure present the deductions I have mad©. Men, I reckon, take good care they do not give up much that gives them pleasure. The members and supporters of Clubs are mainly married men, who, if they have taken upon themselves the responsibilities of married life, leave the same behind them in charge of the wife, who, to my mind, sacrifices a great deal more in tho matrimonial contract than her spouse. If he has the desire to re-

fresh himself with “Histrionic Art” he can easily and comfortably do so by paying a “bob” and mingling with the gods in the pit, where he may, for the time being, get away from the harassing cares of matrimonial life, whilst his wife, full of sacrificial thought' for her husband, is pleased that he can have a little recreation, settles down: to her sewing and mending amiably, and with womanly sweetness. Probably she rocks a cradle with one foot; maybe a croupy child demands her time and attention' too. No doubt, whilst attending to' such mundane, yet wifely, duties, she lives the past over again, and the reminiscences of courting days compare well, hardly favorably, with these heavlly-fraught marriage ones. Many liberties and desires, essentially womanly, have had, perforce, to flee. She remembers her lover’s promises, as with fervour he assured her he could provide well for her, that he hated to see her working so hard for , a living, and that those dear little liahds would never have much rough hard work to do, if she but favored his suit. With what pride she listened to him as he told her he longed to shield and protect her and have the comfort of her society -and the pleasures of Home! She fondly dreamed in those days she was to be a household queen, living up to Buskin’s ideal of wife, but reflecting now, she feels that the household queen is non est, and “household drudge” more likely is the applicable term for her. Gone for her are the days of pretty clothes and little vanities s.o dear to a woman’s heart! Stifled the desire for the latest book and print of inspiling picture, which in her ■ single blessedness she could purchase ad lib! She must not indulge in chocolates, as of old, for the limited house purse will not provide these easily, in addition to . the cigarettes or pipe her husband, poor fellow, cannot do without. “A smoke soothes the dear old boy,” she reasons. So on and on she wanders in reverie, awaiting the return of her lord and master from tho Club, the play, the meeting, or what not, that calls him from her side. As ho knocks or rings at the closed door—closed probably because of loneliness or nervousness —a ready “Is that you dear?” welcomes him home again, and with no word of chiding, no mention of lover’s promises unfulfilled, gently she takes the bitter with the sweet —for did she not take him “for better for worse, till death us do part.” So resignedly does she fill her position to the best of her ability, always thinking her husband the best man In the world, even though he cannot, or what is more, will not, when ho can, give her all that her. womanly nature craves. When her girl friend comes along for advice re entering the married state, she says nothing of the disappointments, the necessary sacrifices attendant upon her own life, but tells her laughingly, she is convinced man has tho best of it all the way. Thus I take upon myself to answer “Anti-Marriage,” not to dispute the question exactly, bub to fairly demonstrate that his “wail” is uncalled for, considering woman might wail a great deal moro tham she docs. Her refinement and prido debar her from such. In my opinion

woman sacrifices and loses much ancl limits herself ro the outside world and pleasures a great deal more than a man does by the union of marrlago. which should be, and might be, the greatest of successes, if man. were as “manly” and as alive to the responsibilities of a “husband” as a woman is “womanly” and alive to hers as a wife. If it is a failure, as “AntiMarriage” says it is, why do our best and noblest of men credit their wives with being a “helpmeet and tower of strength” to thorn in all the arduous campaigns in politics, .ecclesi-

nsties, art or scionco they liavo had from time to timo to carry through. Statesmen particularly attributo thoir succoss to tlioir wives. This in passing. If tho Fates permit mo, dear Editor, you may allow mo to givo a fow reasons why “I think marriage is not a Failure.”