THE POLYGLOT PAPERS.

Gisborne Times, Volume XIX, Issue 1578, 7 October 1905, Page 3

THE POLYGLOT PAPERS.

(By ALPHA.)

A chiel’s among ye takin’ notes, An’ faith, he’ll print them.’’

The political pibroch is sounding, the war-notes of all political clans are raisiug their shrill echoes, and very «oon the Babel of platform clichmaolaver . will 11 mako the welkin ring ” with amateur political oratory, such as would give Demosthenes the wipple-waffies and Charles Fox a severe attack of whimwhams. Already the candidate for Clayton has defiantly tossed bis hat over the ropes, and boldly followed it into tbe arena, and there, stripped of everything but his political tights, be has been sparring vigorously—now in this direction, now in that—with au unsparing vigor that would crumple up a Tom Bayers and bring a Jem Maoa to the horizontal with a wit* scattering thud. The ClaytOD candidate has made the air suffer tremendous spasms of agitation by his merciless method of beating it, and with bautam fierceness be has already piled up a whole holocaust of imaginary antagonists, ha has staggered Seddon, knocked Native Minister Carroll into a “ nonentity,” and gives indications that before ho flutters up to his perch at the top of the poll with a final crow of triumph, he will demolish tbe entire Government, and flabbergast the Opposition beyond all hope of resuscitation. For, be it understood that the candidate for Olay-

ton belongs to that politically nondesoript geous known as “ Independent.” He has opinions of his own, certainly, but if you, oh, lady and gentlemen electors of this most enlightened constituency, choose to disapprove them, he will gracefully forego them, and support your dictum even if he becomes a martyr to his own predilections. The most obliging person in the world is the "independent candidate.” Then we have the candidate for Wall, who is of somowhat heavier metal physioally and mentally, a sort of barn rooster, solid, substantial, steaiy-going, who has a deliberate way of flapping his oratorical wings and crows aB if he really means it. And it must be allowed that the candidate for Wall crows well, without uoduly stretching his neck or ruffling his feathers. His is a rooster of decision, and with regard to any question every feather of him is ball marked “ no compromise.” This, of course, is highly oommondable, for if the Wall candidate did happen to pass into the Parliamentary j elysiom, we might at least confidently look forward to consistency of action as an habitual characteristic. If the contest lay solely between the Clayton candidate and the Wall candidate, I know upon which of the two the Polyglot vote would be plumped. These two gentlemen, notbeiDg adepts •* in the art of publio speaking,” are doing an exceedingly wise thing in making the little outlying oentres serve as training sohools for their oratorioal powers. They will be able to tone down their nervousness (if they hove got any), regulate their h's, cultivate dignity of deportment, straighten out. any rebellions little soleoisms, learn to flourish their bondernhiefs. lay their hands on their gizzar—er-—he»tts, and take a refreshing aip out of tbs chairman’s glass at pre« cicely the right moments, and by frequent I repetition Of their platform lessons, plot i fog up wrinkles" as they go, they ought to be U> ttw very jpinfc of otaioricai condition

by the time they reaoh His Majesty’s of Gisborne, ready to Croats thrills oleotrio, and efifeot a Domosthonlo ooup-do-maiu to tho rolling, reverborant chorus of thousand yoiood cheering ! Oiol I

But oh! Tbero is yet another host to be reokouod with. Swift from the Southland will shortly oomo careering the doughty Knight of Carroll, he of rank Ministerial, armed oap-a-pio for tbo tour* n ament, olod in armour of Governmental policy, bristling with pungent points both of atlaok and defenoo, and (well will it be for tho bantam and barndoor roosters If

their shrill crowing doth not dogenerate into au affrighted oackling, and their politioal nooks bo not forthwith incontinently wrung I No tyro this, no mere fledgling of tho Btrldeut]sqUßWk, but a seasoned politioal warr'or, who has already borne the brunt of battle, and won his spurs, whioh will need some bard tugging to detaoh from his heels. Then may tho curtain bo rung np in full earnest and the fun will begin. Far fun it will oertainly be, if not for the rival aspirants, yot for the onlookers, and as that triangular duel prooeeds, into what ecstasies of tumult will they be thrown! Bat wait, wait for tho event, and when it comes, voters all, vote for the best man.