LANCE ITEMS.

Gisborne Times, Volume XVIII, Issue 1458, 19 May 1905, Page 2

LANCE ITEMS.

A certain tradesman says the postal service is in a wretched state. He sent out 100 bills last month for accounts overduo, with a request for immediate payment. It is astonishing how many of tho debtors say they never got the bill ! Next year 8000 Kanakas are to be deported from Queensland to their coral strands. Premier Morgan, of Queensland, says white labor can and will do all that is required in the canefields if it gets sufficient wages. Your cup of tea may cost you a trifle more, but you will have the satisfaction of knowing you are helping to whiten Australia. Mr Norman Dalston, who may be rememberod in connection with the defunct Midland Railway Company, has returned from England, and thinks of starting in business in Wellington. No other part of the colony strikes him as being so goahead.

You never hear of a woman using her religion as u cloak. It’s not expensive enough. Tubercular disease has ' spread rapidly all aver the colony this year. The potato is the particular tuber affected. Westralia stumped up £ISOO in a few days for Mr Redmond’s Irish campaign fund. Yet the unemployed are as thick as flies out West.

The Land Commission have just had their picnic extended for another month. At three guineas a day and exes, they will Continue to sacrifice thomselves for the country’s good. Nothing blunts a man’s memory so much as doing him a favor. A servant in the kitchen is worth two or three in the registry ofßoe. The oraDgo blossoms that were suppressed in Lent have had a great airing Bince Easter. When General Linevitch sends word that he has “ lost the Japanese army ” it need not be inferred that he is advertising for it.

Mast of the unhappy marriages arise from the fact that the man falls in love with a curl or a dimple, and then marries tho whole girl, The bank managers have taken to heart the Lance’s strong protost, and henceforth won’t put up the shutters and let the public convenience go hang merely because it’s race day. If tho North Island Trunk railway had been agitated for with the importunity shown by tho West Coasters as to the Midland, it would have been running through long ago. One of the oddest sights of recent date was that o£ a motor-car comiDg into town towing a horse, tho owner of the steed sitting at the back, of the car, and holding on to the halter.