LANCE ITEMS.

Gisborne Times, Volume X, Issue 1051, 19 November 1903, Page 4

LANCE ITEMS.

An Aucklander has patented a dovice for turning the leaves of music. Tho occupation of the adoring young man is gone. Tho Panama ernze is dead in Wellington, but has revived in Auckland. Ono man sold his yacht so ns to be able to be in the fashion. Magistrates are beginning to learn the language. One told a larrikin youth the other day that ho wanted a “ thundering good licking.” Tho Hon. Leo Smith is convinced that fishing is a selfish sport, and ought to bo discouraged. This must be "cut” at the fish monopolists. As tho Premier says there is to be “ no slaughter ” of bills this session, membera might easily plan to have their Christmas holidays at Easter. According to n country paper, " tho'firomen who were reported to have been hurt during the burning of tho Ovalau did not bite tho dust as reported.” If the " no license, no liquor ” clause gets through, tbo Hospital at Newtown will have to build a wing for the accommodation of confiscated liqUOf. Although the Auckland people highly respect and admire the Bight Bev. Hr Lenihan, Catholic Bishop, they are giving him a motor-ear for a birthday present. Tho aged and rheumatic Wellington gentleman, who recently married a young girl, and went to Botovua for tho honeymoon, has been in hot water ever since. A clergyman kindly referred to the Melbourne Cup races as the “ Devil's carnival.” He did"not win anything in tho sweep this year. Two years since he drew r£soo. A Southern paper suggests that it would be a great advertisement to the colony if Mr Soddon went to tho St. Louis Exhibition, and publicly slew a New Zealand lamb every morning. Although “ fortune tellers ” uro being convicted and fined, nearly every paper in tbo country prints their advertisements. Pschometrists, magnetic healers, and others all belong to tho same occult band. There is nothing in the new Licensing Bill providing for tho selling by the bottle of New Zealand wine. The Whangarei peoplo are, therefore, highly indignant and are passing resolutions at a troinendous rate. >