LANCE ITEMS.

Gisborne Times, Volume X, Issue 1020, 13 October 1903, Page 2

LANCE ITEMS.

’Tis love that makes the world go round, ’Tis whisky also. Women endure pain much better than men. A bootmaker told us so. British Ministerial cables are models for brevity and point. Also, they cost less than the New Zealand variety. The lady who wore a gorgeous spring hat to a local crush, and took the only one left in the cloak room (a 2s fid “ gem ”) is feeling hurt. A Sydney merchant has just been fined for having scales that weighed in favor of the customer. He will probably never offend again. The lady who ran waste water into the town gutter, was indignant when asked to desist. “ It’s only clean soda and soap suds 1 ” she said.

Mrs Maybrick, the lady who has been in prison for fourteen years, is to be released next year. She is said to have an uncle in Hawke’s Bay. George Musgrove will have to send better companies along if he wants to keep up a stiff tariff of prices. The publio didn’t crowd “ The Fortune Teller.”

The Goro hotels aro doing a big trade in 11 dandelion ale ” and “dandelion porter.” The Noxious Weeds Act will have to be suppressed if this great industry ts to thrive.

The workers at i\OKac are willing to be taxed to provide an old age pension fund. The proposal is to withhold it from wages, the employers to pay it into the Exchequer.

Tttcro aro 2000 “casual” hands employed on the New Zealand railways at present. Highly commendable activity. There is a proposal afoot to build a North Island Trunk Railway.

,The rumor that the authorities are putting barricades at the back of the guard’s vans, to prevent c.ows strolling aboard trains and annoying railway; men, lias no foundation in fact.

A Gisborne Farmers’ Unionist has como to the conclusion that there is more lying in connection with cattle dealing than horse selling. lie must have been hibernating during re-mount time.

The teaching profession is not rushed. A Canterbury headmaster has held the same school for seventeen years. With the exception of the first four years, his salary lias diminished every year. As the session will probably close early in November, it is believed the work of Parliament will soon begin.

A recently married girl has given up everything to her husband—even her milliner’s bills.

The wedding of Miss Shanks to Mr Legge was celebrated at Walkervillo on Thursday last, by the Rev, Mr Trotman. Quito a coincidence. A local gentleman is proud of the fact that he has kept a general servant for two years. You see, sho married his son. He keeps them both. A Timaru girl won a “ walk ” at Timaru lately, by doing five miles fifteen chains in 611-min, which is very excellent for a person skirt-encumbered. If the thousands of people who gather in public places to see athletes were themselves athletes, there would be no need to anticipate physical decadence in New Zealand.