MR DOOLEY ON THE WATER QUESTION.

Gisborne Times, Volume X, Issue 1001, 21 September 1903, Page 3

MR DOOLEY ON THE WATER QUESTION.

(Contributed.) “ Good marnin’,’’ says Mr , , nossy, sauntering into Mr Dooley s bar-parlor on Wednesday last. “ Marnin’,’’ grunts Dooley, still absorbed in the Times. “ Annythin I frisk in the pa-apor ?” says Honnossy. “ I’ve list bin r-radin’ the r-rayport in the Booroo Council meetm’ about Messedhair’s gather ekamo, _ says Dooley. “What do you think at it ?” says Hennessy. “ I think so, says Dooley. “ Think what T says Hennessy. “ How do I know ? says Dooley; “how do I know what 1 think ?” says he. “ I’m no com-bi-nasliun of pork-butcher, undertaker, lawyer, shoepfarmor, and jee-01-ygist, that I can give ye an opinnyun right off the bat—a man nades to be. au 01 thim things to give anny opinnyun in these days.” This shows how intilligint our mothods is, as Hogan A largo Gorman man is brought hore, regar-rdless of ixpinse to raypoort on wathor skames, and after pick-nick-in' wid Cap. Winther and wan or two ’ more boon companions for the besht part uv a week wilin’ away tho weory hours with an odd game of two up, and other aquilly scientific games o come to the conclusion that there was no other place fur it than this her Wy-he-rarey (what a name), as me old frind Fard Mattews sez, “Wy-he-rarey or nothin,” ho sez. Health, he sez, u befoor munnio/ 7 he sez; me colors is nailed to the mast,” he sez. “I’m voting for Wymitar,” he sez; “ Wharekopiei and nothin else fur me,"’ he sez; “ onless,” he s ez, “ I can help Ernie git a cut at the Council s fifty pound,'’ ho sez; “then lin for Micklorrins,” he soz.. Poor Messedhair is only young at the game, Hinuissy; and it appears from what I r-read, that Dug Lysnar is just the bhoy to putt him in his pla-ace. Since the German putt the skarno on, Dug has found more wako shpots in it than you cud shake a, shtick at bechune this and polhn day. “I doan’t pose,” says Dug, “as an ixpert,” aays Dug, “ but,” says Dug, •*; iatnod mo thrado in Bos Dillytoors offurs ho says, “and if I can’t givo Mishtair: a fow pints in local joeology,” bo sez thin Bind mo out to Okitoo ’’ bo sez, and lave Goorge run tho biznias for me. Mo and mo ould frind Jimmy VViuray has put our haud to tho plow, aud, as Hogan boz, we will not turn book now.” . “ I’ve got,” sez Dug, “ a midom chist lull of eouvincin shtatomentß up at Arrafouud all of mo pwnscompysishun, and, if Billy Miokroody can only git tb'm down fur mo in time bsfoor Winsday, 111 daymollish the supporthors of the skame in wan bl’low, and I’m the bhoy to blow. Jimmy VViuray drapped in fr bus usial the other day. ” Toll ms Jimmy sez 1, “ Weals tho manin of your oppysiabun to th&r Wathor and Draynidge ’? ’ sez 1. “ iiliss your hart,” Bez bo, “ what do X want ” ho sez 11 to bo payin ixbry rates ha sez 11 to supply a lot of these hare intoo3iasts ” wid wator ? “ What do I care, ho sez, “if tho wathor does run dry ” ho says. “ I’m the broth uv a bhoy ho sez, “ that oan dbrink it nate if niss> ry . “I intinded ritin a porno,” he sez, 1 befuro the pollin day,” he sez, “ and tho other night, whin I wua at homo befure tho fire driukin hot wans some gr’reat idees cum to me mind; wid a hot wan tho inspyrashun bocum stronger, and Dooley,” ho aoz, “if I hadn’t been too cumfurtible to git up andraich fur tho ink pot I oud have written a porno that wud have made Lißsen Clayton or P.T.K. wish they were wurrkin on the dredge.” “An what about your sollin out,”'l soz. “Oh that there is all frog-frotb,” sez Jimmy. “ I’m very happy hero,” ho soz, “ bo long as they don’t crowd mo with 1 those hero problymaticle and gistiforous rates,” he sez, “No,” he sez, “ kupe your wathor and draynidge,” ihe sez, 11 and lave mo have me ride out to Markracker iu Tommy Meooom’s black oarridge,” he sez, “ throe or four times a week,” ho soz, “and,” ho sez, “ wid the yollow pine comin in from the Kraoker and the Motoo at raisonable figures, I’il be able to turn out the little boxes,” he sez, "at prices that will defy compytishnn,” ihe sez, “ and knock out a shnug livin,” he sex, “widout wantin anny onniss’ry luxuries.” “ What putts Cap. Tucker in oppysistum ?” says Hennessy. “Bliss you,” says Dooley, “ don’t you know the Cap isnt railly in oppysiskun. I didn’t ondershtand it meself as furst ; but I seen tho ixplinashun in the pa-aper the other night, and 1 cjju see ixactly how it is wid him. Walter Gowden Jives wid him, and he tills me the Cap would vote like a shot for the German's skame, but ho’s in a virry arkward poiishum He’s a Thrushte Hinnissy. Were ye ivor a Thrushtoe ? No. Well you cant appreeshiate tho dillycaey of the Cap’s posishun. Ye see Hinnissy the Cap wouldn’t mind the thrifle of extry rates he wud have to pay on-his own proppity twnd be a mare nothing, because I belave lie hasn’t much more to pay than Jack Shßridan, and Jack don’t Bhquoak i “But, Hinnissy, the Cap. is tbrushtee for Boeperarter —(rose her sowl)—and it outs him to the quick to be wasting the good woman’s money on wurruka from which the poor lady oan dayrive no material binnyfit, I think, Hinnissy,” ho sez, •“ tho Cap. is quite right," he sez ; “ and if Jimmy Hast and him win tho pole they’ll both eavo monoy and help to k»pe old Jimmy Wmray’s bizness in a tbrivin’ and proshperous condishun. I “I didn’t notice Jack Hardin’ makra his usual spaches,” says Honnessy. » D’ye know did he happen to drop off ashleep agin ?” “ Not him,” says Dooley; “ he’s not back from his thrip North yet. I hear that him and Ernie Igerson has tuk tho little twins for a blow in the Ring Country.” “ They toll me,” says Dooley, “ that if Dug vvins the fight on Winsday, Jack is going to lave George How Chow run the Hasonie, and he 11 shift his poulthry-yar-rd up Nor rtb.” “ Miller and Kinnidy both done a bit ot flutin,” says Hinnissy. “ They did,” says Dooley. “ but Dug had thim both in their place pritty livoly. Did yez hear the Joke Billy Miller put up on the bhoys wid jhe Wy bo-rarey wather last pole? says Dooley. “ Him aud Arthur Sawyer wont out wid a dbray in tho did of nite to got a bar’l of tho pure Wy.be-rarey wid the dew on it; but, Hinnissy, aftor all their thrubble Billy wasn’t satisfied wid the Saviour of it, and, as it had to bo dhrunk, Billy had fco put in a bit of shtingo. I don t know what he put in ut Hinnissy, but I m sure it wasn’tr limmonadc, becoz I seen Davy Morrus r’round tho tap a good manny times during the day, and the poor llad had to take a cab home soon aftbor lunch and before ho had time to raycord his vote." “ Weil, anyhow,” says Hinnissy, “ I hope they’ll carry tho polo on Winsday.” “So do I,” says Dooly, "if it is only for the fun of soom the Biverind Hurbirt runnin’ up to tho corner wid his buckets.” .