LANCE PAKAGRAPHS.

Gisborne Times, Volume IX, Issue 914, 12 June 1903, Page 3

LANCE PAKAGRAPHS.

That the hand that rocks the cradle is generally the hand that starts the tire. That Cupid often hits the mark, but the oftcner ho hits it the more Mrs he makes. A Manawatu paper records the fact that at a recent, wedding the bridesmaids “ wore large hats, which harmonised with their features.” . Old gentlemen in New Zealand will over-estimate their physical powers. St ill another aged person stepped off a train recently in Canterbury and was killed. A man who had been supported by his wife for eighteen years recently blubbered in Court that she had hit him with a poker. She should have used a steam hammer. A thriving country journal, in a recent obituary notice of a prominent man, stated that “he had so many friends who will be glad to hear he has passed away.” A Taranaki paper mentions _ the new discovery of oil as “ The Kotu-i he oil fiend.” On first examination it reads like an uncomplimentary reference to Picrpont Morgan. The most economical bridegroom of recent report, is the one who carefully swept up and pocketed the rice showered on his bride, last week, and carried it home for the fowls. The Admiralty recently severely “wigged” a naval captain for having passed an island on which Severn j persons were shipwrecked, without rescuing them. They pointed out that the island was only two inches away—on the map 1 The weak-kneed youth who wrote to one of Wellington’s nicest. gins threatening to commit suicide u she spurned the priceless boon of his love received a stout clothesline m rp nlv. lie is cured of suicidal mania. Pity she. hadn’t a brother who knew how to use the rope.