DECIDEDLY HUMOROUS.

Greymouth Evening Star, Volume XXXI, 19 November 1901, Page 4

DECIDEDLY HUMOROUS.

A Mighty Difference.

The late Father Gordon of Aberdeen, was a great favourite with everybody. Meeting him on the street one day, a well-known Free Church Minister said—

"I am surprised at a man like you worshipping the Virgin Mary, lam sure she could not have been a better woman than my own mother."

I "I don't know about that" said the priest, " but of this I am certain, there is a mighty difference between their sons. No Doubt About it. Many years ago a Border church happened to be under repair, and the services were held for a short time in the open air. One Sunday the minister, alter giving out the Ist Psalm, sat down on a mound round which tho people were gathered. After rising and. starling to road, lie was observed to change colour, and to be in a most uncomfortable condition. At last he stopped. "My dear brethren," he said, " I may have tho Word o' God in my mouth, but I believe tho very do'il himself has got intil my brocks." Ho had sat on an ants' nest.

Quite Home-like. A Cumberland football team once played Cambridge University. At the conclusion of the game one of the visiting forwards, in reply to a question how he enjoyed the match, said : ' When we cam' oop to Cambridge, A was fear'd that they was nowt but a set o' parsons. But the fust mon as iver A got hold of, he says to me, 'Who the are you collarin' ?' and," said the worthy man with a placid smile of content on his face, " A felt nice and homelike after that."

The Minister and the Tollman. Some years ago, before tolls were abolished in Scotland, a clergyman in a rural district was visiting his parishioners. He was accompanied by his wife in their carriage. When he arrived at one of the tolls, the following conversation took place:—

Tollman—"Toll, please." Clergyman—" Toll! Why, you know, I am on my parochial duties'" Tollmann— " Oh, aye, but what about her p " pointing to the wife. Clergyman—" Well, but by the Scriptures my wife and I are one."

Tollman—"May be. The Scriptures may say what they like, but by Act o' Parliament you're twa. So you'll hae to pay."