Why no Scotchmen go to Heaven.

Feilding Star, Volume XV, Issue 247, 23 February 1894, Page 3

Why no Scotchmen go to Heaven.

. — -* Long years ago, in time so remote that history does not fix .the epoch, a dreadful war was waged by the King of Scotland, who, elated by hi 9 successes, sent for his Prime Minister, Lord Alexander. • Well Sandy,' said he, ' is there ne'er a king we canna conquer noo ? ' 1 An' it please your Majesty, I ken o' a king that your Majesty canna vanquish.' • An 1 wha is be, Sandy ? ' Lord Alexander, reverently looking up, said ' The King o' Heaven.' • The king o ! whaur, Sandy V ' Tho King o' Heaven.' The Scottish King did not understand, but was unwilling to exhibit any ignorance. • J ust gang your ways, Sandy, and tell the King o' Heaven to gi'e up his dominions, or I'll come tnysel' and ding him oot o' them. And mind, Sandy, you dinna come back to us until ye liae dune oor bidden.' Lord Alexander retired much perplexed, but met a priest, and reassured, returned and presented himself. 1 Weel, Sandy, 1 said the King, * hae ye seen the King o ? Heaven, an' what says he to oor bidden '!' • An' it pleases your Majesty, 1 hae j seen ane o' his accredited ministers.' • Well, an' what says he ?' 'He says your Majesty may c'en hae his kingdom for the asking o' it.' ' Was lie sac civil ?' said the King, warmiug to magnanimity, ' Just gang your ways back, Sandy, and toll the King o' Heavou that for bis civility the deil a Scotchman shall even set foot iv bis kingdom.'